


Strings Attached

by orphan_account



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, My First Work in This Fandom, No incest or pseudo-incest, Or Is It?, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts, Time Travel Fix-It, Vanya Hargreeves-centric, season 2 is canon?? if that's the right word to use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 40,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26574577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A moment before, she had been holding her sibling’s hands, finally a family. Now, she was in bed in her barren apartment, dressed in different clothes, and feeling unbelievably horribly numb.-The briefcase malfunctions and Vanya is transported back eight days before the apocalypse with her memories intact.
Relationships: Vanya Hargreeves & Everyone
Comments: 229
Kudos: 709





	1. The List

A moment before, she had been holding her sibling’s hands, finally a family. Now, she was in bed in her barren apartment, dressed in different clothes, and feeling unbelievably horribly  _ numb _ .

Her first thought was that somehow Five had messed up the calculations on the briefcase, that once again they were separated from each other, God knows how many years apart they were this time. Her second thought, however, was that she needed to either calm down or feel something.

She swung her legs over the side of her bed, shakily getting up and looking around. Her room looked the exact same as she always left it, tidy and empty. She would never admit it aloud, but Reginald Hargreeves insistence on keeping her closet-sized room tidy had instilled some good habits in her. He was already disappointed enough at how ordinary she was, she didn’t need to add to his disappointment by being a slob as well.

She choked back bitterness towards her father, to her family - she didn’t need to lose control right now, not until she found her family or until they found her.

She got herself to the kitchen, pausing at the newspaper on the counter. It wouldn’t hurt to know  _ when  _ she was either, it would make moving forward a lot easier if she knew she had to just wait for Five to find them all throughout the time.  _ If _ they were scattered across the timeline, that was.

As soon as she saw the date, her blood ran cold.

_ March 25th, 2019 _ . The day of her father’s funeral, the first of eight days until she caused the apocalypse.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!” She hissed, anxiety rising in her only to be quashed by the suffocating numbness that she couldn’t escape. She felt horrible, the fact she couldn’t feel anything as strongly as she could before- _ Before the pills! _

The realization hit her hard as she stumbled to her cupboard, digging out the medication and staring at it with horror. The power suppressors, the ones she had been told were for her anxiety. It had been a lie, a disgusting lie because Reginald Hargreeves was too frightened of what she could do. 

She was back to her old self, unfeeling, and struggling to connect, struggling to stand out. Mentally, she noted that her body was physically back to the same state it was that day before she had gone cold turkey on her meds. Before Leonard- No, before Harold Jenkins.

She felt sick as she remembered how easily manipulated she was by him, how he played on each of her anxieties expertly, turning her against her family and into the weapon that he would use to take revenge against the Umbrella Academy.

_ Think Vanya, you need a plan and you need one now.  _ She thought, turning to the table where a familiar typewriter was kept. It hadn’t been touched ever since her book was published, the mere thought of it sending a wave of guilt over her.

But she didn’t have time to dwell on those thoughts, carefully feeding the paper into it and beginning to type out what she needed to do:

  * _Find your siblings and find out what they remember. Five is the most important to talk to._



She furrowed her brow, fingers tapping ever so lightly against the keys as to not waste space with unnecessary letters. What if her siblings didn’t remember what she did? What if  _ Five  _ didn’t remember?

After a few moments of thinking, she ripped out the paper, not caring if it was a waste or not, and started again. She couldn’t plan ahead without knowing what was happening, so instead, she needed to write reminders to herself, no matter how painful they were.

  * _Find the book before Harold does, don’t let Klaus throw it out._



She pressed her lips into a thin line, remembering in the salon how Klaus had recounted the story, with a few embellishments, and how they had teased him and laughed. She wasn’t laughing now, not when it was happening again.

  * _No more pills._



It was an easier reminder to have, she hated feeling so numb, so sedated. She knew why she had been prescribed them, she was a bomb that was just waiting for her fuse to be lit. Was going cold turkey the best option? Better than weaning off of them? Probably not but she didn’t have the time to wean off the pills, it was now or never.

Ben had been there when everything had come crashing down when her memories had hit her and she didn’t want to live anymore. Not after everything that had happened, not after everything  _ she  _ had done.

But now she was back at the beginning and she had experienced control, taking out the Commission and being the one to help, not hurt, Harlan. She was on the right track with control, she couldn’t let herself be bogged down by her pills anymore.

She was going to save her family from those who hurt her, she wasn’t going to be the liability anymore.

  * _No more violin, don’t let The White Violin out._



It wasn’t a completely fair rule, The White Violin wasn’t her evil twin that she kept locked away within herself. The White Violin was  _ her _ , someone who had hurt her siblings, who had blown up the moon, all because she had gotten so swept up in her storm of emotions that she forgot who she was.

The violin was what scared her even more, terrified that the extra concentration of power it gave her would end up causing her to fall into the same rampaging state she had done before. 

She paused at the thought, taking a deep breath as she wrote out another rule:

  * _Don’t let them lock you up again._



Again.

Now she was fighting back tears, chest growing tight when she remembered bashing her hands against the metal door. She had trusted Luther, trusted him when he pulled her into a hug, a hug she needed after everything that had happened.

He broke that trust and she wasn’t going to let that happen again.

Closed spaces, Vanya had realized bitterly, were one of the many flares that would light her fuse. Being held against her will anywhere would result in the possibility of losing control, and she could not lose control if she didn’t want a repeat of  _ that  _ day.

It had been a part of the flame that set her off, now she just needed to make sure that any flames were extinguished before then.

  * _Don’t hurt Allison. Don’t hurt Allison. Don’t hurt Allison._



The feeling of phantom blood on her hands made her want to wretch right then and there, taking heavy breaths as she tried to fight the memories of that day. Allison had tried to rumor her, she stopped it. She wasn’t going to be rumored again. But the cost was more than she realized.

Her hands trembled violently, hovering over the keyboard as ragged breaths escaped her because there was blood, there was blood everywhere-

And it was Vanya’s fault, it was only Vanya’s fault. 

She had been dragged away,  _ she left her sister to die _ .

But it wasn’t going to happen again, it was never going to happen again. She was never going to touch Allison, she was never going to lead Allison into danger ever again. For once, she didn’t care about the past, all she cared about was keeping her sister, her sister with her  _ now _ , safe.

  * _Don’t cause the apocalypse._



She stared at it, long and hard. Was this going to be the easiest one or the hardest one? Vanya didn’t get long to dwell on the thought, her eyes moving to the clock. She swore under her breath, quickly hurrying to gather her things.

The funeral was today, the best shot she would get at gathering her siblings in one place and find out if they remembered what she did. If they did, it would be a lot easier in making sure she didn’t once again blow up the moon.

She looked at the piece of paper in the typewriter, carefully taking it out and folding it. At first, she thought of carrying it with her but chose not to. On the chance her siblings didn’t remember, she couldn’t risk them seeing the most suspicious list possible.

She went to her room, tucking it under the base of her lamp, carefully leaving only a corner sticking ever so slightly out to ensure she wouldn’t forget about it. She couldn’t forget about it.

Taking a deep breath, she hurried out of her apartment, habitually leaving the light on, and locking the door behind her.


	2. Family Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya reunites with her siblings and comes to a less-than-desirable conclusion.

It was easy to wave down a taxi, what wasn’t easy was all the thoughts in her head that threatened to suffocate her. What if they didn’t remember? What then? Did she tell them? Did she tell Five if he didn’t remember?

If they didn’t know and she told them, would they lock her away again?

She didn’t want to admit it at first but when she remembered that closet, the way she was so desperate to get out, and how they fought but just not hard enough...she was hurt. She knew it was something out of their control, that Luther wasn’t making it easy, but part of her wished she’d seen one of them go for the handle and just  _ try  _ to pull.

Vanya let out a shaky breath, deciding that if they didn’t know then she wasn’t going to tell them. It was a foolish decision to some, to not have a trained team of superpowered siblings to have her back, but she couldn’t risk having them turn against her again.

She needed a timeline, a timeline of all the events that happened in the eight days, and if she needed to intervene or not. She’d type it out on her typewriter when she got back to her apartment, her attention caught as the imposing shadow of the academy came into view.

Then and now, she never knew what to feel. It was a place of trauma, hurt, resentment, and a lot more. The fact that she was there for a funeral of all things certainly didn’t bring any pleasant feelings, not that she could feel much with the pills still in her system.

She still didn’t know if she was sorry about destroying the place.

Vanya drummed her fingers anxiously as the taxi pulled up to the side to let her out, handing him the necessary cash and stepping out.

She walked forward, unable to stop the shaking of her hands as she reached out and pushed the doors open, stepping into her former home and taking a deep breath. She stepped forward, dazing, moving in circles as she took in the view of everything until a figure caught her attention.

_ Mom _ .

Vanya took a few steps forward, wanting to talk to the woman but knew better, she was in a trance of sorts. She went to back away before a new voice, a painfully familiar voice rang out:

“Vanya?”

She turned around and she felt the urge to sob, to breakdown right then and there in an odd mixture of shame and relief.

Allison. Allison was standing there, beautiful as ever, a shining star in the academy. No blood, no bandages, no nothing - her sister was standing right there and she was fine, thank God, Allison was  _ fine _ .

“You’re actually here.”

And then she  _ laughed _ , a soft and beautiful laugh that Vanya had never been happier to hear. She barely could contain herself, hurrying to her sister as she came down the steps and hugging her as tightly as she could, afraid that if she let go then Allison would go away.

“I wasn’t expecting that,” Allison laughed, mostly nervous and confused. “I know it’s been a while Vanya but- Are you okay?”

Vanya was trembling, tears welling up in her eyes as she gave a shaky nod and pulled away. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I was just...I just missed you. I missed you a lot.”

“I was sort of expecting to be the one to do the huggy-feely stuff,” Allison mused. “But hey, I’m not saying it’s an unwelcome hug.”

Vanya wants to smile but she can’t help but be desperate for answers, to know if Allison remembered, if any of her siblings remembered. She couldn’t ask, she couldn’t take the risk, because the risk was too high for Vanya.

Her thoughts were interrupted by another voice, a less friendly one.

“Ah, what is  _ she  _ doing here?”

It hurt more than she thought it would when turned to see Diego, looking at her with undisguised malice. She remembered being closer to him, putting her head on his shoulder and the two just sitting together in comfortable silence. But now? Now all of that was gone and he hated her all over again.

“You don’t belong here, not after what you did.” He scoffed, walking past them, not even bothering to spare a glance their way.

Vanya felt sick, eyes immediately going to the floor and hands shaking. What did he mean? The apocalypse? Was he mad again? Did he think this was her fault?  _ Please don’t be mad, please don’t lock me away again, please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, I- _

Allison turned around after him, hands elegantly sliding into her pockets. “Are you seriously gonna do this today?”

Vanya’s thoughts were broken by this, staring at her sister’s back with wide eyes. Allison stood up for her, Allison stood up for  _ her _ , despite everything that had happened. Vanya clenched her fists, taking deep breaths and thinking as fast as she could, wondering why this all was so damn  _ familiar- _

“Way to dress for the occasion, by the way,” Allison called after him, rolling her eyes at his rebuttal.

“At least I’m wearing black!”

The occasion, Dad’s funeral. It was all the same, they didn’t remember. Allison and Diego didn’t remember, that’s for sure. Was it remember or know? Could they remember if they hadn’t lived it like Vanya if she was the only one who had lived it?

She pushed away the thought, knowing this was the part where her lack of self-confidence would shine, where Diego’s words would have once caused her to second-guess herself and begin to wonder aloud if she should have come.

But she didn’t have time for that, she needed to find Luther or Klaus. She paused as she thought of Klaus, wondering if Ben would be with him now. He had never mentioned much about Ben until beforehand.

“Vanya? Vanya!” Allison chimed, snapping Vanya out of her thoughts. “Hey, hey, ignore him,  _ I’m _ glad you’re here.”

Vanya can’t help but smile, a genuine smile that reached her eyes. Maybe Allison was being genuine or maybe she was a better actress than Vanya realized, but she took those words to heart anyways.

“You’re, uh, you’re feeling pretty emotional today, huh? Can’t blame you, guess funerals bring that out in all of us.” Allison hummed, taking Vanya’s hand and gently squeezing.

“Thank you, I’m going to go look around a bit, see you around?” She said meekly, gently rubbing Allison’s arm as a sign of good will before she passed her and started to hurry to dad’s study. She needed that journal.

She was acting too different, she was causing suspicion. Her siblings were used to years of stone-faced Vanya, whose smile never reached her eyes and laughs were barely ever more than a whisper. Pogo would be the problem, he would suspect something would be going on with her pills because he  _ knew _ .

She wasn’t sure how to feel when no guilt came to her at Pogo’s death, impaling on the antlers and watching him whimper out pleas for help. The help that wouldn’t come, not from Vanya.

She pushed away the thoughts, not wanting to think about her destructive rampage, she wasn’t ready to confront that side of her yet.

She hurried to the study, realizing she would miss her encounter with the chimp. But she didn’t care, she already knew her dad never read her book, and she wasn’t ready to hug Pogo, much less see him.

Shuffles of papers caught her attention and she heaved an audible sigh, unable to help the small smile that grew on her face as she gently knocked on the door to get her brother’s attention. Klaus shot up at the sound of the noise, looking absolutely terrible, but Vanya really wasn’t one to judge.

“Vanny? Is that you?” He said, eyes wide as he tried to divert any attention away from his previous antics. He got to his feet, approaching her with his arms opening in a hug. “Long time.”

Vanya couldn’t help but smile, returning it gently. “It’s good to see you too Klaus.”

“Hey, have you seen Allison around? I was, uh, hoping to get her autograph.”

Vanya’s smile became more forced, no longer reaching her eyes. She knew why he wanted that autograph, she knew why he was searching dad’s study, and she hated it. She hated seeing her brother like this, with twitchy fingers and unfocused eyes. She wanted her brother sober again and she made a mental note to add that to her to-do list.

Vanya decided to avoid the question, taking his hand gently and running her thumb across the wristband. “Out of rehab?”

He pulled away, quickly but not roughly, pulling his coat sleeve to cover up the wristband. “No, no, no, no, no. No. I’m done with all that. I just needed to see that the old man was really gone for myself, you know?”

It was a lie, a lie anyone could see through. Vanya shook her head, giving him a look that Klaus responded to with a grin and a wave of his hands.

“And he is! He’s dead. Yeah!” He clapped his hands together, a goofy smile on his face. If he wasn’t such a mess, maybe Vanya would have laughed at his antics, but all that she felt was a muffled bit of sadness.

She mentally crossed his name off the list of her siblings, placing him with Diego and Allison. He didn’t remember, she wasn’t sure if he needed the extra burden of remembering.

He pointed in her face, feet shuffling from side to side. “You know how I know? Because if he were alive, not one of us would be allowed to set foot in this room. He was always in here, our whole childhood, plotting his next torment, right? Well, his torment for us.”

He had gone around the desk, taking a seat in dad’s chair, Vanya trailing after him, and standing in front of the desk. It was a careless remark, the idea that Vanya’s exclusion hadn’t been purposeful on Reginald’s behalf. Klaus probably didn’t know or he didn’t care, it was either way with him right now.

She didn’t bother correcting him, giving him a tired look as he set his feet on the desk. He didn’t stop talking as she began to look around the office, hiding her true intentions under the guise of harmless curiosity. 

“Remember how he used to look at us? That scowl? Thank Christ he’s not our real father so we couldn’t inherit those cold dead eyes.”

She gave a small hum in response, turning to see him pulling his eyelids wider at her, a goofy expression on his face as he spoke in a mock accent of the deceased man: “Number Seven!”

She wanted to laugh but the thumping of someone else interrupted her, the voice of the person sending a wave of raw fear down her spine.

“Get out of his chair.”

Luther, it was Luther, and already Vanya wanted to wretch out of a mixture of fear and nerves. He was standing there and he spoke in that voice, the voice that was that of Number One, the leader of the team she never got to be a part of. Number One, the one who had locked her away.

“Oh, wow, Luther! Wow, you really, uh…” Klaus trailed off, eyeing Vanya. “You scared Vanny creeping around in the shadows like that, look at her! She’s trembling!”

Vanya mentally cursed out Klaus for bringing attention to her, desperately trying to stop herself from shaking as Luther approached.

She forced herself to speak, wanting to sound like she wasn’t on the verge of tears. “You’ve gotten bigger.”

“Bigger is an understatement, you’re huge!” Klaus laughed. “You really filled out!”

Luther narrowed his eyes, “Klaus-”

“Save the lecture, I was already leaving.” Klaus snorted, standing up from the chair. “You two, uh, enjoy talking. I’m going to go and try to find Allison.”

The mention of Allison caught Luther’s attention, he had never been great at hiding his emotions. The massive man watched as his wiry brother sauntered out of the room, giving them a lax wave only to be stopped as Luther caught him by the shoulder.

“Drop it.”

Klaus was surprisingly good at feigning innocence, “Ex-squeeze me?”

Luther didn’t give in, “Do it. Now.”

There was a moment of silence, Klaus looking as if he was about to give a laugh as if it were a joke, but Luther didn’t even give a twitch in his lips. Klaus pouted, pulling away with an offended noise.

“Alright, alright, it’s just an advance on our inheritance!” He grumbled, throwing a few odd trinkets onto the floor in a dramatic display. “That’s all it is.”

Vanya watched, waiting for him to put back the case, furrowing her brows as he waved his hands to show he was done. Where was the case? She needed the case, she needed the book! No one could see the book but her, it had to be in her hands!

Klaus huffed, walking past Luther, “No need to get your little panties in a bunch.”

He still had the book.

Vanya wanted to stop and scream for him to give it back, maybe rat him out to Luther, but fear spiked inside of her at the thought of what actions he might take. What if he hurt Klaus? What if he went too far?

Instead, she said nothing, staring after Klaus’ figure as he skipped away.

“I...I forgot I have something to talk about with Klaus,” she managed to choke out. Before Luther could stop her, she ducked under his arms and hurried after her brother, leaving the other to stare after her.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Luther said softly as he watched her go. Vanya gave him no sign that she heard.

She hurried after him, catching him by the arm, perhaps too roughly, as he tried to go down the stairs. He flinched, instinctively pulling away and turning to her.

“Well jeeze Vanny, there are better ways to tell me you like my company than grabbing me!” He scoffed, staring at her with no undisguised suspicion. “Grabbing me...I expect that sort of barbaric behavior from someone like Luther or Diego, not you!”

“I’m sorry,” she breathed, she did mean that. “But I know you stole something else.”

“Accusations! Baseless accusations!” He cried dramatically, giving her a hard look. “I emptied my pockets in front of you both, now you come here accusing me of even more thievery?”

She gave him a look and he puckered his lips in a pout, “Well...I suppose it wasn’t an entirely baseless accusation.”

She was desperate, looking him in the eyes. “Look, Klaus, just...I’m not going to tell Luther or Pogo or anyone, okay? But I need-”

“You want to split the cash?” Klaus interrupted, furrowing his brows. “Tough time with rent or something, Vanny? Must be if you’re willing to pawn off dad’s stuff.”

“No, well, yes, sort of.” She struggled with her words, “I don’t want the money. You can keep the case but I want the papers inside, okay?”

“The papers? You want the papers?” Klaus’ was in disbelief, a bit unsure how anyone could pass up cash in favor of their father’s ramblings. “How do you even know there are papers in there?”

“I just...I just remember him writing, I want them.” She said firmly, “You give me them, I won’t tell anyone if you don’t tell anyone.”

Klaus was, to put it simply, suspicious. It was a strange deal, a deal that favored him more than her. He would obviously accept it, but he couldn’t help but wonder what his mousy little sister wanted with papers until-

“Ah, autobiography sequel, huh? Gettin’ all the dirty secrets out there,” Klaus sneered, a bit crueler than he originally intended. “Yeah, yeah, I get why you would want to keep this hush hush. Fine, we have a deal, Vanya.”

She winced at his assumption but she didn’t correct it, better for him to assume that than her actual plan: that she was trying to hide her powers from a serial killer hellbent on getting revenge against her family.

“Thank you,” she murmured, watching as he took the case out of his waistband. He opened it up, a bit more desperate since they had unwanted company roaming around, watching as Vanya practically snatched the journal and papers inside faster than he could blink.

“Well, you don’t break your end, I won’t break mine,” he chimed pleasantly as he tucked the box back into his pants.

Guilt wracked Vanya, she knew exactly what he was going to do with that money and she had stood by and let him simply because it met her own goals. She grimaced, pushing her guilt away, knowing that if she managed to avert the apocalypse, she could spend as much time as she needed with her brother making sure he got the help he needed.

“Too-da-loo, little sis’!” He chuckled, hurrying off with an eagerness that made Vanya sick.

She clenched her fists, holding the journal and papers. Shit. Pogo couldn’t see her with these, Luther couldn’t see. She worked quickly, tucking them in the inner pocket of her jacket, begging the universe to ensure that no one would want more hugs from her and notice that part of her was particularly rectangular and hard.

She furrowed her brow as a solution appeared, a solution she wasn’t fond of.

She hurried down the stairs, through the halls and opened up a door that revealed a closet-sized room. Her room, the room for extra ordinary member of the academy, the one member who had been pushed away for reasons she couldn’t control-

“Calm down Vanya,” she said aloud, softly and surely as she entered. She lifted the mattress, placing the journals and papers underneath. It would do for now, at least until the funeral service was over and she finally got to go home and do even more planning.

“Vanya! Vanya!” It was mom, a perfect smile on her face as she turned into the room. “Luther has been looking for you, it’s about the funeral service, dear.”

Vanya gave a small but forced smile, nodding. “I’m coming, thank you, mom.”

She made her way to the living room, giving a small nod to Allison and Luther who were already there, Diego pointedly ignoring her. There were a few chairs open but Vanya settled for the couch, opening to not be put in another chair. She rubbed her wrists nervously, remembering the buzzing sensation that grew more and more intense, made even worse with whatever drugs they had put in her.

She went to the side of the couch, pulling her knees to her chest, not caring that her shoes got on the couch and enjoyed the silence between the siblings. She needed to think right now, think before Luther started this meeting with whatever it was they had talked about.

None of her siblings remembered, her only chance was either with Ben, who was only accessible with Klaus, and Five. So Five was her only chance, her last chance to get some support and understanding that she wasn’t who her father or Pogo made her out to be, that she wouldn’t bring the end of the world. 

_ And what if he doesn’t remember? _ A familiar voice in her head taunts.  _ You’re going to be alone again, no one is going to help you. _

She doesn’t have a response to the voice, only drumming her fingers on her knees, eyes glazed as she was lost in thought. She could feel Allison glance at her in worry but she didn’t care, she just wanted Five to hurry up and get through the portal.

Luther shuffled on the couch across her, straightening up and staring at the ground. “Um, I guess we should get this started.”

She can hear Klaus moving behind her, shuffling around the bar in search of a drink. The drumming of her fingers grew more intense before she forced herself to stop, the familiar isolation of the sound sending a jolt of anxiety down her spine. She couldn’t use her powers, not now, not even if they were suppressed by the meds. She couldn’t take the chance.

She looked up as Luther got to his feet, towering above them all. “So, I figured we could have a sort of memorial service in the courtyard at sundown. Say a few words, just at dad’s favorite spot.”

“Dad had a favorite spot?” Allison is the one to ask the question they were all thinking.

“You know, under the oak tree.” They all seem sheepish, they did not know. “We used to sit out there all the time. None of you ever did that?”

Bitterness rises up in Vanya, the question wasn’t directed at her at all. It was unspoken but the only time she spent with dad was helping the other’s train, the man had no interest in her outside of using her as an assistant.

“Will there be refreshments?” Klaus’ voice breaks her from her thoughts and she stares hard at the drink in his hand, nails digging into her pants.

“Tea? Scones? Cucumber sandwiches are always a winner,” he mused, turning to Vanya with a playful grin. She just stares at the drink in his hand and he rolls his eyes, turning to see if Allison would enjoy his musings.

The smell of smoke causes bile to rise in her throat, Vanya forced herself to swallow it.

Luther scoffs, “What? No. And put that out, dad didn’t allow smoking in here.”

Allison had her own question, “Is that my skirt?”

That makes Vanya smile, a small giggle rising from her that surprises the others. She and Klaus always swapped the bottom halves of their uniforms when they could, Klaus preferring the freedom of her skirt and Vanya feeling much more comfortable in pants. They did it whenever dad wasn’t around, enjoying feeling comfortable in their own clothes for once.

Vanya’s giggle only encouraged Klaus to continue his antics, “Huh? Oh, yeah, this. I found it in your room.”

Allison rolls her eyes but not unkindly, a small smile on her face.

“It’s a little dated, I know, but it’s very breathy on the bits.” Klaus gestured to his lower regions, twirling for his sisters to admire his outfit.

Luther wasn’t smiling, turning on his “Number One Leader Mode” as the others deemed it. “Listen up. Still some important things we need to discuss, alright?”

Diego scoffs, “Like what?”

“Like the way he died.”

Vanya curls in tightly around herself, remembering what Klaus had told her and Allison in the salon back in the 1960s, not that the two remembered it now.

_ “Then daddy dearest, he comes to me in death and you know what he does? He lectures me! Unbelievable, I haven’t seen him in years and no hello’s or how are you’s!” Klaus cried, braiding Vanya’s hair while Allison swept.  _

_ “Are you really that surprised?” Allison chuckled, she had already heard the story before. “He was never one to care about how we were doing.” _

_ “I’m still allowed to be hurt,” he said with a pout. “I suppose it wasn’t entirely terrible, the old man has quite the skill when it comes to giving a good clean shave. Not a single nick! Makes you wonder why he bothered having a shit ton of kids instead of running a barbershop.” _

_ Vanya laughs, “Okay, okay, so you got a shave from dad, is that it?” _

_ “It gets better- or worse, depending on how you think of it.” Klaus laughed, leaning in and looking at Vanya in the mirror. “You know what he told me? The damn lunatic killed himself and made it look like a Sherlock-esque murder mystery! How fucked up is that?!” _

_ Vanya, despite everything she heard about their dad, had not been expecting that. “He did what?! Why?!? Why would he kill himself and then frame it like a mystery?” _

_ “This is where it gets good- or bad, that, once again, depends on how you think about it.” He sang, tying up the braid. “Oh, you look so cute, farm girl Sissy will have to resist eating you up as soon as she sees you.” _

_ “Kl-Klaus!” She sputters, cheeks going red. “Don’t say- Just- Finish the story! Why did dad kill himself?” _

_ “You know what he told me? He said he wanted to bring us together as a team again, save the world or something,” Klaus snorted. “That turned out to be…” _

_ He trailed off and Vanya grimaced, she knew she was the one who destroyed the world, though she still didn’t know why. _

_ “Anyways, it was a stupid plan, I expected better from the old coot.” Klaus sighed, giving Vanya a kiss on the head. “Now, my turn!” _

Vanya blinked herself back to the present (was that the right word for whatever timeline this was?), realizing that voices were raised and unsurprisingly, Diego and Luther were arguing.

“-Isn’t it obvious Klaus? He thinks one of us killed dad.” Diego is getting angrier, which is unsurprising, he had a short temper.

Luther makes a strangled grunting noise, all the confirmation her siblings need.

Allison stares but Vanya says nothing, she isn’t sure what to do about this. Perhaps get Klaus sober faster? Clear things up before things got too far?

“You do?” Klaus sounds genuinely hurt by that, Vanya can see Luther doing his best to wipe the guilt off his face.

“Great job, Luther. Way to lead.” Luther doesn’t try to hide the hurt on his face when Diego says that, Vanya watching as he stalked off.

“That’s not what I’m saying-” Luther is cut off as Klaus gets to his feet, drink still in hand.

He spouts something about Luther being crazy and they begin to get up, Vanya instinctively getting up as well. She knew her brother needed comfort but she wasn’t ready to be around him, not yet. Besides, Allison wasn’t hurrying to leave like the rest of them.

Or so Vanya thought, watching as Allison walked right by him with a rather disdainful look.

They separate and Vanya isn’t sure what to do right now. She has the book, she knows the truth, and now all that’s left is to wait for Five and she suddenly realized it was feeling like an eternity. So she stood in front of the stairs, feeling just as lost as she did when she was a child living here.

Then the music starts.

When dad went out on trips, Pogo and Grace let them play the records a bit louder than usual. It was a treat, a treat that Vanya occasionally got invited to partake in. Those rare fond memories of dancing with her siblings, though very rare, were still very precious to her.

So she did what she did before. She danced.

For the first time in forever, she and her family danced to the same records they danced to before. Maybe they were in different rooms, but still in one house.

Vanya forgot about the salon, about the timeline, about Sissy, about the apocalypse. Instead, she just decided to dance with her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter follows the first half of the first episode closely mainly because i wanted to establish this was in fact the same timeline! obviously a lot of the dialogue is the same but I did try and spice it up with some hcs and new scenes  
> the plot will change a lot more radically next chapter


	3. Five's Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five is back but Vanya isn't happy with what he has to say.

It’s the same as it was before, Vanya can attest to that. The scene of her brother desperately trying to crawl through whatever time portal engraved in her mind, it isn’t exactly a sight too easy to forget.

Five’s face contorts in a mix of effort and agony, desperately trying to break through whatever blue film is keeping him trapped. Then in seconds, he’s broken through, a fifteen-year-old Five dropping to the ground like a ragdoll.

When he gets to his feet, staring at them, Vanya wants to believe that he’s waiting for the same sign she’s waiting for: that someone remembers.

Klaus’ voice breaks her out of her thoughts, “Does anyone else see little number Five or is that just me?”

Five furrows his brow at being called little, seeming to take offense at the title before looks down at him. “ _Shit_.”

Vanya prays that isn’t a sign that he’s been reset like the rest of them, her heart drops when they’re in the kitchen, watching as Fives prepares a fluffernutter with the speed of a man who hasn’t eaten in days. Well, perhaps not his favorite sandwich in days.

“What’s the date? The exact date?” Five demands, going through their cupboard and grabbing the white bread.

Vanya is the one to answer, she’s been checking the date over and over again in hopes it might be some cruel prank. “The twenty-fourth.”

Five sounds exasperated, “Of what?”

“March.”

“Good.”

Five’s answer sends a wave of nausea down her throat because to her, that is most _certainly not good_. Her mind begins to go over every possibility, the cupboards rattling ever so slightly as she realizes the worst possibility: _It’s good because it’s eight days before the apocalypse. Five has come to stop the apocalypse. Five has come to stop me_.

She flinches as she feels a hand on her shoulder, turning to see Allison looking down at her in concern and motioning to her palm. Vanya uncurls the fist she’s made, realizing her palms are bleeding after digging her nails so hard into the flesh.

“So, are we gonna talk about what just happened?” Luther asks, sounding both irritated and still in shock. She can’t blame him, she had felt the same when that had happened.

They watch as Five ignores them, focusing on making his sandwich. The sight makes Vanya more irritated than ever, hands curling back into fists. The kitchen window cracks, shocking everyone out of their trance, even Five.

“Crap, this place is really falling apart,” Klaus mused.

Luther doesn’t wait anymore, getting to his feet and rounding the table to Five. “It’s been seventeen years.”

Five snaps back, “It’s been a lot longer than that!” Then he teleports behind Luther who grumbles something, but Vanya isn’t listening.

She’s angry, angrier than she knows she should be, angrier than she believes the meds should be letting her be. But she pushes it down, she has to, or she’ll become a bomb again.

“Where did you go?” Diego asks, fiddling with a knife as Five rummages around for food behind him.

“The future. It’s shit, by the way.” 

_My fault_ , Vanya thinks.

 _It’s always your fault_ , a voice taunts.

Klaus points his finger upwards playfully, “Called it.”

“I should have listened to the old man,” Five sighed as he opened up the fridge and rummaged through it, pulling out the peanut butter. “You know, jumping through space is one thing, jumping through time is a toss of the dice.”

He pauses, looking up at Klaus and giving a small nod of approval, “Nice dress.”

“Oh, well, Danke!” Klaus chimed, fiddling with the edges of his skirt happily. He had always been a sucker for a compliment.

Vanya narrows her eyes at Five, ignoring the way blood seeped from where she had dug her nails into her flesh. “You got back.”

There’s an accusation in her tone, one that hangs in the air. Each of them looked at her in surprise, not expecting hostility from the one they had expected to be the most well-receiving to Five’s. She wasn’t surprised, they had always spent a lot of time together as kids. But it had been one-sided, Five using her as someone to bounce ideas off of and little Vanya, desperate for any sort of companionship, always being eager to go along with whatever he wanted.

Five looks at her, narrowing his eyes before going back to his sandwich. “In the end, I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time.”

It’s meant to dissuade her from being angry, Five throwing concepts far too complex for anything to understand. But that’s not what she’s asking, she knows he had the briefcase, she knows he could have done the bare minimum and left a note.

Maybe it would have been selfish of her to wish he messed with the timeline just to tell her he was fine but she thinks it anyways.

Diego mutters, “That makes no sense.”

“Well, it would if you were smarter,” Five snorts.

Diego rises to her feet and so does Vanya, she’s heard enough to know she can’t spend any more time here, listening to the same damn conversation she had. Luther goes to retrain Diego from smacking the young five, but she’s surprised when Allison takes her arm gently.

“Hey, I know it’s a lot,” her sister murmured. “But just...just try and stick around.”

Vanya doesn’t mean to be harsh but she is, pulling her arm away and meeting Five’s gaze. “I’ve heard enough.”

She ignores Allison calling her, heading out of the kitchen and to the door. She had some calls to make.

She had gotten to the entranceway when a voice called to her, a voice that made her want to throw up or burn down the entire building - maybe both.

“You aren’t staying for the funeral service?” It’s Pogo, of-fucking-course it’s Pogo.

“No, I’ve already seen enough,” she says, instinctively curling in on herself. “Besides, I don’t want to spend any more time in this place, you should understand that.”

Pogo presses his lips into a thin line, “Miss Vanya, I know your father could be extreme in his methods-”

“He sent children to deal with armed robbers,” she scoffed. “Extreme is putting it mildly.”

“He had his reasons, reasons you may not understand now,” Pogo assured. “Even so, Miss Vanya, I only hope for the best for you.”

That hurt her.

“...Thank you Pogo,” she murmurs, bending down and hugging the chimpanzee. She tries to ignore the images of him impaled on antlers that flash through her mind. 

She gives him one last smile before turning and leaving, heading back to her apartment.

* * *

She was surprised when the orchestra was more accepting of her withdrawing than her students, simply accepting her leaving. She remembers being called ordinary, not special, and she doesn’t feel so bitter about the rejection.

After finishing her chat with her last student, she hung up her phone, staring at it. There went the past few years of her life, well, her _old life._

Vanya heaved a sigh, pushing back the feeling of emptiness that was welling up in her. Despite how many times Reginald had called her average at the violin, she still played. It was one of the few hobbies she kept even when insulted by her father, she played because it made _her_ happy - an act of rebellion whether she realized it or not.

“I think I still have those old ones,” she murmured aloud as she went through her closet, clucking her tongue as she pulled out a box of papers. “Come on, come on, they gotta be here…”

“Voila,” she hummed, pulling out a stack of old resumes. “Okay Vanya, you got a job once, you can do it again...somehow, somewhere. There are plenty of places hiring and you have years of experience, you just have to put yourself out there.”

Talking out loud made her feel less alone.

She put the box of papers back into her closet, forcing herself not to stare at the untouched violin she had stashed away before closing the closet doors. She wandered out to her kitchen, humming softly as she touched the newspaper still on her kitchen counter.

“Griddy’s...of course, Griddy’s is hiring,” she laughs to herself. It had been a running joke that Griddy’s was everyone’s starting place for work, you could always get a job there - Agnes was always eager for more workers.

Griddy’s it was.

She glanced at the time, sighing as she realized it was too late to apply at the moment, instead opting to turn on her kettle to boil some tea before she went to bed. When her pills couldn’t calm her nerves, tea had been there to help.

“Got any coffee?”

She let out a gasp, her resumes falling from her hands, whirling around to see Five sitting on her couch. “Fuck Five! You scared the shit out of me.”

“Language,” he tutted. “You should lock your windows, by the way, I did that for you.”

She fights back the urge to strangle him, “What are you doing here?”

“You left before dad’s funeral, we didn’t get a chance to talk,” he mused. “It was quite the shit-show by the way, Diego and Luther went after each other like rabid dogs.”

“Of course they did,” she scoffed, the two were always looking for a chance to duke it out. She paused, looking at the red stain on his collar and sitting down in the chair across from his. “Is that blood?”

“It’s nothing,” he assures and she glares at him. “You’ve been around short with me since I got back, I assumed you would be a bit more welcoming.”

“It’s hard to be welcoming to the little brother who walked out on mealtime and never came back,” she snapped.

“You think I had a choice?” He barked, getting to his feet and wincing. Vanya’s expression morphed into concern, catching sight of the nasty wound on his arm.

“It’s nothing my ass,” she grumbled, hurrying and grabbing her first aid kit. “Sit down and talk. Why are you even here?”

Five watched her move, gaze surprisingly solemn as she worked. “I’ve decided you’re the only one I can trust.”

“...Because I’m normal,” she murmured as she works. She thanks Mom for teaching her the basics of stitching back when they were kids. “It’s something about the future, isn’t it? You’re telling me because you don’t think I have the ability to change it.”

“Yes...and because you’ll listen.” That surprises her. “How do you know it’s about the future?”

“You were hiding something back in the kitchen.”

“You can read me well, I’m surprised.”

“Don’t be.” She finishes her work and then heads to her medicine cabinet, grabbing her painkillers and pulling out two for Five. “Here.”

“Mom taught you well,” he chuckled as he took the pills dry. “Now, I suppose you’re wondering exactly what it is about the future I want to share with you.”

 _When he finds out it’s you, he’ll kill you_ , the voice taunts. She tries to ignore it but the weight of its words linger in her mind. “Yes.”

“When I jumped forward and got stuck in the future, do you know what I found?”

 _Dead bodies, dead because of you, because you’re a monster._ Vanya doesn’t answer, he takes her silence as one.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

_Your fault, your fault, you did that._

“As far as I could tell, I was the last person left alive.” She sees the pain in his eyes as he recalls everything, faintly feeling his hands tremble at the memories. “I never figured out what killed the human race, but…”

His head lifts from his wound and he stares at her, it takes everything in her not to look away. “I did find something else. The date it happens. The world ends in eight days and I have no idea how to stop it.”

She paused, trying to find something else in his eyes for her to ask about everything else he went through, but she can’t. “...You have no idea? At all? None?”

He looked surprised at her answer but nodded, expression curling into something she can’t define. “None but-”

“But you’re going to try and change it anyway, aren’t you?”

“Yes. Yes, I am.”

Vanya took in a sharp breath, “I’ll put on a pot of coffee.”


	4. Small Talks and Big Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya begins realizing that reaching out to her siblings won't be too easy, especially considering they aren't too keen on reaching back out to her.

Had it been her Five, maybe Vanya would have openly admitted to having powers, to remembering everything from the past few years. But this wasn’t her Five, this was someone entirely different from her Five.

Her Five had gotten into the front seat so that she could check on Sissy and Harlan. This Five had been moments away to shooting a president in the head. Besides, even if she confessed, he would either laugh in her face or accuse her of mocking him.

She didn’t like those odds.

“You’re taking this...oddly well,” Five chuckled, taking a sip from his cup. “I don’t think you believe me.”

Vanya heaved a sigh, leaning back into her chairs and giving him a hard look. “How did you get shot?”

Five doesn’t react like the trained soldier he is, feigning ignorance. “I didn’t get shot.”

“Bullshit, don’t play dumb with me.” She snarled, feeling rather fierce. “There’s more to the story, Five, and I’m getting a little tired of you picking what to tell me and what not to tell me.”

“...You’re moodier than usual,” he scoffed, not expecting her to have responded with such hostility.

“Maybe I wouldn’t be if you talked to me, Five.” She snapped, giving him a hard look. “You’re holding out on me and I don’t like it.”

“I’m holding out on you to protect you,” he retorted. “You don’t have powers Vanya, you don’t need to get involved in this.”

“You involved me when you came into my house and got me to patch you up, you don’t get to rescind your inclusion now.” The dishes in her sink were rattling dangerously.

“I do, actually, if I deem it necessary.” God, she can’t stand how damn pretentious he sounds. “I can tell you’re not in the mood to listen, I’ll take my leave.”

Vanya grimaces and raises her hand to stop him, gently taking his hand in hers. “Look...I’m sorry. You’ve been gone for years, Five, and then you come back with secrets. I’m just trying to help you.”

“You’ve already helped me,” he gestured to his patched up arm.

“I know you won’t stay the night but I’m going to offer my couch anyways, you deserve to rest somewhere other than the academy.” She sighed, rubbing her temple. “It’s not like I can stop you from leaving.”

“You really can’t,” Five mused. “But fine, I need somewhere to lie down and get my thoughts in order.”

“Then you’ll leave without saying goodbye. Again.” There’s bitterness in her voice.

“I didn’t know I was leaving,” he murmured and she felt her bitterness disappear instantly.

“That’s true, I’m sorry,” Vanya whispered. “Um, if you need extra blankets, just knock on the door and I can get some from my closet.”

“The ones I have are satisfactory.” He assured and paused, hands awkwardly in his pockets. “In case I do, for some reason, decide to leave. Goodbye.”

She nodded, pressing her lips into a thin line. “Goodbye.”

She reached out, gently resting a hand on his shoulder before pulling away, retreating to her room. She closed the door, making sure the click of the door shutting was audible, then waited a few moments before opening it silently.

She peered through, watching as Five inspected her apartment before reaching into his pockets…

...and pulling out a glass eye.

_ No, no, no, no, no! No, please tell me that _ ’ _ s fake, please anything - Leo- He isn’t part of my life anymore, he can’t be part of my life anymore. _

She recoiled back as though burned, falling to the ground and resting her back against her bedside. There had to be a mistake, some sort of a stupid anomaly because Leonard wasn’t going to be a part of her life, she couldn’t let him be a part of her life ever again.

But there was that stupid eye, the stupid eye he had lost when he had gotten jumped, when she had first lost control of her powers, when-

_ When you first felt the thrill of the kill. _

She trembled as the voice rang out in her brain, fingers digging into her skull as if she could rip out any of the horrible memories that plagued her. But she couldn’t, she needed them, needed them so that she could be better than before.

She shook her head, forcing herself to calm down, becoming acutely aware of the way her bedroom window curtains whipped around wildly and her dresser doors rattled. With another deep breath, she sighed in relief when they stopped moving.

She pushed herself to her feet and peered out her bedroom door, stepping out when she realized Five had left. Shocker.

She took a seat on her couch, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Of course things can’t be easy, things can never be easy.”

She turned, her typewriter still on the table and she got up, sitting down in front of the machine and getting to work on listing everything she remembered happening the last time she had lived this timeline.

She went through three pieces of paper, each filled with minor details she thought were important along with the bits of information she had gotten from her siblings when they had been stuck in the 1960s.

She had a lot of work to do.

* * *

Getting a job had been easier than expected.

When she showed up the next morning, resume in hand, the older woman, Agnes, had practically jumped on her in happiness. There were still a few police officers roaming around and she wondered if Diego had shown up to investigate along with them.

“There was a big gunfight last night, frightened off quite a few of my employees! I can’t blame ‘em, it was rather frightening,” Agnes had sighed. “But don’t you worry, no one got hurt - a boy and his dad made it out just fine...I think.”

Vanya couldn’t help but smile at the woman’s honesty and nodded, “I’ll try and do my best, I promise.”

“You seem like a hard worker, I’m sure you will,” Agnes laughed. “Now come on, I have some uniforms in my office you can try on.”

Vanya perked up at the praise and nodded, following the woman into the back, a bit more confident with getting a job so soon.

* * *

“There’s something wrong, Klaus, something wrong with all of this! It’s- Can you quit ignoring me?!”

Klaus was padding down the streets, continuing to ignore the ghost that bothered him. Come on, there had to be a damn pawnshop somewhere in this hellish neighborhood.

Ben trailed after him, looking around with a strange paranoia in his eyes. “Damn it Klaus, listen to me! Maybe it’s because I’m dead and have supernatural senses now but can you quit trying to find a place to pawn off your dead father’s things! Things you stole! Can you just listen to me for once?!”

“Well, Benny-Boy, he had no problem stealing my childhood. I have spent, what? Twenty-something years listening to your ramblings, I’m not going to start now.” Klaus hummed and whistled in excitement as he caught sight of a shop. “Ah, bingo and I am the lucky winner! You can lecture me later, I’ve got a few hundred bucks to snatch - hopefully more of daddy dearest went all out on this fancy-ass case.”

It was a simple exchange, Klaus walking out with a wad of cash in his hands and a grin on his face. He sauntered down the streets, eyes looking around for any sign of a dealer, fingers twitching in a need for something,  _ anything _ , to keep his powers from activating.

“Klaus, you can’t block me out this time, I need you to listen to me!” Ben snapped, reaching out to grab Klaus’ shoulder and growling when his hand passed through.

Klaus turned to the ghoul, walking backward with an irritated look plastered across his face. “I am not listening to you! I am not going to start listening to you! Get that through your undead hea-”   
  
He smashed into a dumpster, falling unceremoniously to the ground and smacking the back of his head onto the concrete sidewalk. “Damn it, Ben! That was your fault, not mine!”   
  
“You okay?” Klaus was ready to snap back a rather sour retort before pausing, face twisting in confusion as he looked up to the sight of a rather plain man looking back at him.

“That was a pretty nasty fall,” the man noted, eyes wide with concern.

“Just a tap on the head, nothing too terrible!” Klaus quickly said, pulling himself together and back on his feet - taking the strange man’s hand. “Taken far worse by far nastier, don’t you worry.”

“Still, just let me check to see if you’re bleeding, falls like that can be worrisome.” The man warned, “You should probably head to a doctor, get it checked out.”

“Doctors, doctors, right, yes, I am great with doctors,” Klaus mumbled, half to himself, fingers twitching as he pulled his hand away. “Look, I appreciate the help Mister-”

“Leonard. Leonard Peabody.”

“-Mister Leonard, but I am truly perfectly fine, on my tippy toes I’m so fine!” Klaus sang, ignoring the way his head throbbed. “But the concern is sweet, sweeter than sweet tea.”

“You don’t sound fine,” Leonard mused.

“Sounds fine to me,” Ben scoffed, Leonard not hearing a word.

“Well, there are a lot of things not fine about me but I’d rather not bore you, we simply don’t have all day.” Klaus sighed, gently patting Leonard to the side and stumbling around him.

“Yes, bu- Oh my God, you’re bleeding,” Leonard yelped, hurrying to Klaus’ side. “Look, I get you don’t want help, like really don’t want help, but I’m not letting you stumble around bleeding!”

“...You’re not going to give me much of a choice, now are you?” Klaus scoffed, eyeing the man.

Leonard gave him a smile, “I am not.”

* * *

Griddy’s, unexpectedly, had not been the downgrade Vanya had expected it to be. Sure, she wasn’t following her violin passion, but damn was Agnes a fun boss. The older woman had gone the extra length to make Vanya feel comfortable and maybe it was the childhood neglect talking, but praise from the older woman lit a fire in her she hadn’t felt before.

The only real downside were the uniforms, especially since there didn’t seem to be a pants-option instead of the skirt they had to wear. But it was a minor complaint, Vanya was more ecstatic about getting a job so quickly.

Getting to the academy from the cafe was simple, Vanya following the route that they used to use when they snuck out to get donuts - the times she was invited to sneak out that way. She hadn’t known at the time why their Father was so insistent the others kept their distance to her, but now she did and it still stung.

She took a deep breath, moving alongside the walls of the academy, and making her way to the front gate, touching the front doors nervously. She had left rather abruptly beforehand and even worse, had ditched the funeral service. Her siblings were bound to know something was up, or worse, be mad at her.

She pushed through the front doors, shoving down her anxieties and entering the rather empty and imposing mansion. God, she felt like a child again, hands clammy and head desperate for fresh air, desperate to escape the bad memories that surrounded her.

She made her way up the stairs, praying that Five had come back to the academy. She ran her hands along the railings of the stairwells, wanting to laugh at how clean they were despite how massive and old the building was. Mom was truly a force to be reckoned with.

With a turn, relief flooded through her: There he was, staring at the windows like the old man he was. She would have to tease him about his situation when the apocalypse was over.

_ If you can stop the apocalypse _ , the voice taunted.

“Thanks for saying goodbye before leaving,” she said softly, standing in the doorframe of his room.

“It’s the least I can do, not like you gave me much of a choice,” he mused. He looked at her with amusement, “That’s a very...pink outfit. I didn’t realize you worked at Griddy’s, I figured you’d have become a solo violinist by now.”

“Shit,” she whispered, realizing she was still in her Griddy’s uniform. “Y-Yeah, uniform, I don’t get much of a choice when it comes to wearing it. It’s part of the brand.”

“Are you still mad at me?” Vanya was taken back by the question, not expecting it at all.

“...Not anymore,” she admitted. “I can’t make you tell me your secrets-” _ I already know them. _ “-But you can’t just pretend you don’t understand why I’m upset about them.”

She sighed, “But I guess...I guess I came off as dismissive. I’m sorry.”

“Maybe you were right to be-” Five is interrupted by a rather offended snort from Vanya.

“No, no, no! Don’t go trying to block me out again,” she groaned. “Five, look, I believe you, I believe you even with everything that you said. Maybe I’m just feeding into your delusions but I don’t care, I believe you.”

Five blinked anticlimactically before chuckling, turning to her with hands in his pockets. “Thank you, Vanya, for believing in me. I’m glad you do, I really do, but I’m keeping secrets from you for a reason.”

“Because I’m the ordinary one,” she said quietly, looking away. “You’ll tell the others but not me, won’t you?”

“The old man didn’t even train you in self-defense, Klaus got the bare minimum of that,” Five refuted. “Vanya, you can’t take this so personally, I’m doing this to keep you safe.”

She shook her head, the curtains beginning to lift by themselves, the books on the shelves rattling. “...You were gone, Five, you were gone and you left us alone. You left me alone. I kept the lights on, I made you sandwiches, and I never once believed that you ran away.”

Five was silent, meeting her gaze as if to encourage her to go on.

“But now you’re back and you’re pushing me away,” she whispered, all anger she felt disappearing and being replaced with grief. “I’m sorry, you’re probably not in the mood to hear me vent, you’ve got important secrets to attend to.”

“Vanya, it’s not that you aren’t important, you’re my little sister-”

“The only reason you’re getting away with calling me that is because I know you’re actually fifty in that preteen body,” she interrupted, amusement in her eyes.

Five couldn’t help but smile, “I’m keeping you safe, okay? I know you probably don’t want to hear this but I need you to trust me.”

“...Fine, but I could say the same,” she grumbled. “Go on then, go deal with your dumb secrets, don’t try sneaking around me.”

Five simply smiled, Vanya returning it before heading out and leaving the bedroom.

She took a deep breath before heading down the stairs, not wanting to stick around any longer and accidentally shatter a window. She ignored the thumping that came from his room, hearing Klaus’ slurred speech and knowing it wasn’t anything Five couldn’t handle.

She paused as she entered the second-floor walkway that overshadowed the front hall, looking down at Luther who stared back up at her, a mixture of confusion and annoyance on his face. She opened her mouth to say something, say anything that would break the awkward tension-

“You missed the funeral.” Luther beat her to it.

“I’m sorry about that, there was just...there was a lot going on.” She admitted, her voice echoing out. She ignored the way her hands trembled, making her way down the stairs towards him.

“It was, uh, it wasn’t much anyway,” Luther admitted. “Diego and I got into a fight.”

Honest. That’s something she had always appreciated about her brother. He told her the truth about things and, unintentionally, never minced his words.

“Was it bad?” She asked, keeping her distance. “I know Diego has his...knives.”

“We stopped before it got really serious,” Luther promised. “We didn’t, uh, we didn’t get to talk too much last time. It almost feels like you’re running away from me.”

_ Shit- _ She swore mentally, knowing damn well he had caught onto her. This was the old Luther, a daddy’s boy, the one who hadn't been able to finally be angry about what Reginald had done to him, who insisted on being leader, insisted on being Number One-

“Vanya?” Luther’s voice snapped her out of his thoughts. “You’re spacing out.”

“S-Sorry,” she stammered, fiddling with her skirt.

“I thought you got into an orchestra or something,” Luther noted. “You’re, uh, you’re wearing the Griddy’s uniform.”

“The orchestra thing...it didn’t work out,” she admitted. “I got another job. I’m happy now. But, listen, enough about me, how are you?”

Luther looked surprised, lifting a massive arm and rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Just adjusting after living on the moon for years, you know? It’s tough, I’m still used to zero gravity.”

That made her laugh, “I can only imagine it’s a tough change. But, knowing you, you’ll bounce back.”

He looked even more surprised, “It’s been a while since I heard you laugh. I guess a lot of things have changed since I came back.”

She nodded, “Hopefully things will change for the better.”

Change for the better, change things for the better...could she do that? She had been so focused on the bare minimum of not blowing up the moon and causing the apocalypse, that the thought that maybe she could make things better for her family hadn’t even crossed her mind.

She grimaced and looked at Luther who seemed to be desperately trying to fill the silence. It was better to rip off the bandaid now than later, more time for him to recover.

“You sent dad mail, right?” She began, looking up at him carefully.

“Reports! Every day, didn’t miss a single one,” he chuckled, looking rather proud of the accomplishment. “You, uh, you knew about? I’m sorry I didn’t send you packages, I just had limited paper and I didn’t even know where you were-”

“No, no, I’m not picking a fight with you,” she yelped. “I just...did you ever wonder if he read your letters? Even opened the packages?”

There was a pause between them before Luther became visibly agitated, struggling to find his words for a moment, before exploding into excuses.

“That’s- That’s! Look, Seven, that’s just-” He scoffed, looking away dramatically before glaring daggers at her. “You guys left, I didn’t! I stuck around, I stuck around as Number One should-”

Vanya tried to intercept, desperately wanting him to listen. “Luther please-”

“No! No, I can’t just ignore that!” He snapped. “You got to be angry with your damn book, whatever, but you don’t have the right to-to say shit like that! Say that stuff to my face and be surprised when I get mad!”

She felt tears prick at her eyes, the bones on the coffee table in the room over rattling. “Luther, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“I don’t have time for this,” he muttered, stalking away from her.

“Luther...I didn’t...I’m sorry,” she whimpered, watching his large figure disappear into another room. “That...that really wasn’t the way that was supposed to go.”

She paused, hearing the faint sound of a familiar voice echo out.  _ Allison _ .

She blinked thoroughly, trying to rid herself of any evidence that she had nearly broken down just because Luther had raised his voice at her. That, she could admit, was a bit pathetic of her.

She moved her away down the halls, Allison’s voice becoming clearer and clearer.

“=But I’m not leaving for the airport. It’s not a big deal if I miss one session.” Allison said lowly before turning around in frustration, hand pressed against her temple. “Patrick, it was my father’s funeral. You know, I’m pretty sure the court recognizes that as extenuating circumstances.

Right. The divorce.

“Is Claire there?” Her voice was getting panicked, desperate. Vanya couldn’t blame her, it didn’t take a genius to figure out that Allison thought the world of her little girl. “Yes, I would like to say hello to my daughter if that’s alright with you.”

Vanya felt guilty, she was an intruder on a very private part of Allison’s life. But still, she couldn’t help but be curious.

“No.” She was trying to be firm, to try and maintain the illusion she was still in control, but Vanya could tell it wasn’t real. “Patrick don’t-!”

Allison sighed, squeezing her eyes shut as she hung up the phone, fighting back tears.

Vanya moved forward, wishing she knew what was right to say to her sister, something that would make everything better. Deep down, she knew there really wasn’t anything she could say or do that would help Allison.

“Are you okay?” Vanya asked, already knowing the answer.

Her heart ached as Allison touched the phone, gathering her breath, trying to do her best to compose herself in front of her sister. Vanya couldn’t see her face, Allison having twisted it away to maintain some privacy for her emotions, but she already knew she was trying to calm herself.

Allison sighed, still looking away, “Yeah.”

Vanya opened her mouth then closed it, struggling to find the words to comfort her sister. Allison had always been better at finding the words, perhaps that’s why she had become such a successful actress.

_ Along with rumoring a few suckers _ , the voice taunted. Vanya mentally rolled her eyes, not wanting to deal with the voice at the moment.

“Allison, I...I’m not good at this, um, this comforting stuff.” She began, eyes glued to the ground while she fiddled with her skirt. “I just, I can tell you’re going through a lot right now and if you want to talk about-”

“Why? So you can write about it?” Allison scoffed but softened. “No, I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

Vanya shook her head, “It’s fine, I get it. I just, I know you miss your daughter.”

“That doesn’t even begin to describe it,” Allison murmured and sighed, pinching her temples. “Vanya, look, I’m sorry but if I wanted advice, it wouldn’t be from you. You don’t have a child, you’ve never even been in a relationship-”

“That’s not true,” she snapped, fiercer than she had meant to be. Sissy, she missed Sissy. “That’s...that’s not true.”

_ Her  _ Allison knew but this Allison? She didn’t. Vanya felt lonelier than ever at the thought.

“So you know what it’s like to love someone like this?” Allison hissed, tears glittering in her eyes. “Like when you’re apart from her, you can’t breath?”

Vanya stiffened, every part of her wanting to scream that  _ YES _ !  _ Yes, she did _ ! She remembered dancing with Harlan to their records-

“Like you would- you would die, and I-I mean actually  _ die  _ to know she’s okay and happy.”

-And remembered every moment gently entangling fingers with Sissy, laying in bed as she pretended for those few happy moments that this  _ was  _ her life and she could pretend it would be like that forever-

But it wasn’t, not anymore.

She looked at the ground, wishing that she had the pills to numb whatever it was she was feeling.

“You separate yourself from everyone and everything, you always have.” Allison continued, sounding choked up.

Vanya curled her fingers inwards, lifting her gaze from the ground and meeting Allison’s. She has to stay away, she can’t let anyone know, especially not Allison, she  _ can’t _ hurt Allison. “Because Dad made me.”

“Did Dad make you write a book about us, too?”

Vanya can’t respond, her throats tightening and the thumping of her heart in her chest is so loud, it’s too loud, she can’t handle it right now, and she just wants to stop hearing anything for once. 

She barely noticed Allison walking by her and out the door frame behind them.

She barely noticed Mom staring after her as she left, walking out of the mansion and waving down a taxi, wordlessly allowing herself to be driven back to her apartment.

It was only then, when she was standing in her empty home, that she allowed herself to notice the flecks of white that decorated her vision. She finally allowed herself to notice the resentment, bitterness, grief, anger, and  _ so many more emotions  _ that were stewing inside of her chest.

Then she saw the book and sobbed and everything, everything, came pouring out. Her vision went white as she fell back against her door, watching as the pages of the book were torn viciously apart, the cover ripped in half until the book barely remained.

She had been angry when she wrote it, desperate to stop the endless praise of the glorified child abuse her siblings went through, desperate to finally receive some validation that what she had gone through wasn’t deserved. 

She had gotten it for a while, but like many things, it faded away.

Everything seemed to fade away with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: i should write a few chapters ahead so i can start a scheduled update system  
> also me: if the chapter is done it's gonna go on the run


	5. Hazel and Cha-Cha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya finally comes to the realization she isn't the only threat in this timeline.

“I hate that brat.”

“Mm,” Was Cha-Cha’s response, knitting her brow together as she held the flat iron to her wound. If she wasn’t trying to bite back a pained response, she’d agree with her partner. Five, even in the body of a teenager, was a formidable foe.

“You know what they're gonna do? They’re gonna dock our pay, I’m telling you! Budget cuts everywhere, everywhere.” Hazel scoffed as he eyed the show on the mini TV in the motel apartment.

“I don’t understand how you can watch that crap,” Cha-Cha snorted once she finished cauterizing her wound.

“Drowns out the sound of your flesh sizzling,” Hazel mused from the bed he laid on. 

Cha-Cha opened her mouth to respond only to be interrupted by a whooshing sound, followed by a distinct clank. The partners exchanged a look, Hazel wiggling his eyebrows in mock excitement.

“Budget cuts are here.”

“Yeah, yeah, might as well rip the bandaid off.” Cha-Cha muttered, leading the man into the bathroom. She fingered the edges of the wall tile, sinking her fingernails into an opening and prying open a mini door that housed a tube. She opened the door and pulled out the container, opening it and handing Hazel the message inside.

He removed the string that kept the piece of paper rolled up, taking the picture that was kept with it, whistling softly. “Haven’t had a job like this in a while.”

Another tube came down, Cha-Cha putting the last one down and picking up the other. She opened it carefully, grimacing ever so slightly at the sight of a well-contained syringe filled with a strange liquid. She turned to Hazel, hand extended, watching the man put the order in her hands.

She looked at it carefully, a chuckle escaping her. “Haven’t one in a while like this, usually the big wigs just tell us to take ‘em out. Not to mention two missions at once

_ New Primary Objective: Find VANYA HARGREEVES. Initiate memory reset. Target must remain alive. _

_ Continue hunting FIVE alongside new objective. _

* * *

Vanya straightened her skirt as she entered Griddy’s, ten minutes early to keep on Agnes’ good side. The woman had been kind enough to give Vanya a job on the spot, the least she could do was try and do the best job she could.

She had spent all of her morning free time practicing using her power, minimally of course. Little things like lifting her cushion or rattling the glasses, she wasn’t ready for anything big quite yet.

Vanya entered through the back door, clocking in and giving a nervous smile to the older woman. “I’m here, Miss Rofas!”

“Miss Rofas? Oh no, no, no, that’s not necessary dear! Makes me feel old,” she laughed. “Call me Agnes, everyone else does.”

“Agnes...right, of course,” Vanya replied, a small smile growing on her face. “What would you like me to do today?”

“It’s only your second day on the job, dear, afraid you won’t be working the kitchen until you have more experience.” Agnes said apologetically, “I’ll be having you bus tables, how does that sound?”

“Just fine, M- Agnes,” Vanya assured. Bussing tables was certainly something she couldn’t screw up, she had at least that much confidence in her skills. Living with Sissy on their farm had improved her work effort, from helping with dinner to caring for the chickens.

Her eyes glistened at the thought of Sissy but she pushed it away, now was not the time to be getting worked up on her old flames.  _ Especially  _ not when she was in some timespace continuum malfunction...if that was the right term.

_ Five would know _ , she thought somberly, wishing she could trust her brother with what she knew.  _ But I can’t, I can’t because Five will put a bullet in my head or lock me up or- _

“Sugar, I know you must be nervous from still being so new at the job, but I’m afraid you can’t stand here all day.” Agnes’ concerned voice broke through Vanya’s thoughts.

“Right, sorry, I just-I just got lost in thought.” Vanya yelped, “Nerves, it must be nerves, just like you said. I’ll, uh, I’ll get to work.”

Agnes watched as the tiny girl hurried off to work, chuckling at the earnest look on her face.

The orchestra had been a test of teamwork, the entirety of the team working together to create beautiful music; at least that was how Vanya had seen it. Griddy’s, as odd as she found it, was surprisingly similar. Vanya worked efficiently in cleaning up after customers, loading up dishes, and adding some extra elbow work to the extra sticky plates.

Once Vanya found her rhythm, she felt her confidence soar. Not to mention, the looks of approval from Agnes did a lot to keep her happy. God, she was a sucker for approval from authority, she’d have to thank Dad for that later.

Vanya continued to work, growing accustomed to the clanking of plates, the sizzle of the deep frier, and the way Agnes would hum under her breath. She heard the bell ring out while in the kitchen, two sets of footsteps ringing out, while one made its way to the bathroom and disappeared inside.

She popped her head out, ready to assist with the customers. The man who had come in was a larger gentleman, a beard adorning his face, and wearing a blue suit. Vanya grimaced, hoping it was just a coincidental taste in clothing.

“Back again?” Agnes laughed, broom in hand. She propped it against the wall nearest to the back door, moving behind the counter. “What can I get you?”

“I’ll start with my usual and a, uh, a cup of coffee,” the man mused. He pulled out a few pieces of cash, setting it down.

“I’ll get you your donuts,” Agnes promised. “Vanya, think you can get the coffee machines going?-”

“Yes ma’am!” Vanya called back, hurrying to prepare the machine before starting it.

Agnes nodded her approval before she turned back to the customer. “-Sorry for the wait, we had a bit of a rush this morning and now we’re in a slow patch.”

“Not a problem,” he chuckled. “I’ll take chocolate glazed to start with.”

Agnes smiled, using tongs to pick up the donut and setting it down on a small plate, slipping it in front of him. “You really love doughnuts, don’t you?”

“Is there anything better in this world?” The man responded, a smile ghosting on his lips.

Vanya set the steaming coffee in front of the man, giving him a polite smile.

“You’re new here,” he noted, taking a bite of his pastry.

“Just started, sir,” Vanya admitted, cleaning out the grinds from the coffee machine. “Is there anything else I can do here? If not, I’ll start cleaning up the kitchen.”

“Such a hard worker,” Agnes laughed. “No, nothing at all, you can clock out once you’re done tidying up, alright?”

Vanya smiled back, eyes twinkling in delight at the praise. She went to the back of the kitchen, getting to work on cleaning up the flour that adorned the counter. She perked up as the man seemed to open up, asking about Agnes’ day.”

“-The real trick is, um, I let ‘em rise for about half an hour before I fry ‘em up. That’s what makes them so...light and fluffy.”

“How come you're so light and fluffy?”

Agnes laughed at that, “Well, I guess you are what you eat!”

If Vanya wasn’t so put off by the man, she may have smiled at the spark between the two. Instead, she went back into the kitchen to continue scrubbing dishes, half-listening to the two talk about donuts, before peeking out when she heard the click of heels.

It was a woman sporting a bob cut and a similar suit to the man. Strike two, similar suits were not a good sign.

“Agnes, this here is my partner.” The man said, sounding a bit more on edge than before. “Cha-Cha, you know they have a new employee here, what was her name again?”

“Vanya,” Agnes chimed. “Sweet girl, very helpful and hardworking, I can tell she’s going through a lot right now.”

“Vanya, huh?” The woman grunted. “You think we could meet her?”

Strike three. 

Vanya moved quickly, clocking out and reaching for the door...and then stopped. She was acting on memory, vague memories, with little information on how her current timeline was functioning. Perhaps if she played her cards right, she could learn more.

_ This is a terrible idea, you’re going to get caught, _ the voice taunted.

_ Yeah? What’s your point? _ She snapped back.

“Vanya? Vanya, are you still there?” Agnes was calling her and Vanya bit her tongue, hiding behind the counter as Agnes entered the kitchen and looked around. “Huh, she must have clocked out already…”

Agnes turned back, apologizing to the two. “If you really do want to meet her, she must have left out the back door. Must be real important if she left in such a hurry.”

“I’ll go check, see if she’s, uh, okay.” The woman assured, getting to her feet. “If you don’t mind, my partner is going to ask you a few questions.”

“Questions?” Agnes sounded confused as the sound of the woman’s footsteps grew fainter before the front door opened and closed.

The man was still there and Vanya pressed herself against the wall underneath the kitchen window, listening intently. “So, uh, is there anything you might be able to tell us about the night that this place got shot up?”

Vanya’s blood ran cold, calming herself down as she saw the mugs begin to rattle in response.

Agnes was silent for a moment, Vanya could tell the woman was hesitant to keep talking about it. “Well, I-I mean...I already told the police everything I know. Twice, actually.”

“Do you remember the boy from that night?”

If Vanya was restraining herself, the entirety of their plates would have exploded in response.  _ I knew it, I knew the shooting and Five were related, they’re always related-! Little brat comes in telling me it isn’t a big deal! A shootout is a pretty damn big deal, Five! _

Vanya focused on not destroying the kitchen, grimacing as she blinked back to her senses, the spots of white fading from her vision. She mentally huffed in frustration, realizing she had missed some of the conversation.

“We’re just concerned for his safety, is all. It’s a dangerous world out there,” the man said. “Wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to him.”

Vanya had heard enough, knowing if she spent any more time listening that she’d eventually lose control, and she did not need to destroy her new workplace with a meltdown.

She got to her feet slowly, avoiding the kitchen window, before opening the back door as she could and quietly closing it behind her, praying Agnes wouldn’t be too offended she left without warning. But Vanya had no choice, those two looked and acted way too suspicious for her liking. Not to mention, after taking out an entire army of same-suited agents, she knew those suit designs by heart.

She booked it out the back, hurrying down the street, glancing behind her anxiously, praying that they hadn’t heard the door click ever so softly shut.  _ Where the hell do I go now? My apartment? The academy? I have to wait first, I have to wait, I have to- _

“Vanya? Is that you?” Vanya whipped around, hands curling into fists ready to clock whoever it was calling for her- only to relax ever so slightly when she saw it was Allison.

She yelped at the aggression, raising her hands in the air in an attempt to calm Vanya. “H-Hey, I didn’t mean to startle you! I was actually looking for you and...and are you okay? You’re practically hyperventilating.”

Vanya looked back behind her before taking Allison’s hand, leading her into the closest store, thankfully a bookstore. She squeezed Allison’s hands, shushing her as her sister frantically tried to ask  _ “what the hell was going on” _ and “ _ why are you trying to hide _ .”

Vanya finally stopped once they were in the back of the store behind a bookshelf, allowing herself to catch her breath. “S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to drag you I just-”

“Vanya, breath, you need to breathe.” Allison insisted, gently placing her hands on Vanya’s shoulders, thumbs moving in circular motions on her uniform. “Okay, focus on my voice and tell me when you’re ready to talk.”

Vanya took a few moments calming herself, nodding shakily once she felt she was ready. “Five...Five is in danger!”

“I am...oddly enough, not surprised by that,” Allison mused. “But how do you know? What happened? Also when did you start working at Griddy’s?”

“I’ll answer the Griddy’s question later, for now we need to find Five,” Vanya insisted. “T-There were these customers, well, there were two of ‘em and they both wore the same suits! One asked for a donut and coffee and I had to get him coffee, right? He asked about me because I was new and whatever b-but then I went behind the kitchen and-and they asked about the place being shot up! Do you know what else?! Five came to my blast with a mutilated bullet wound in his arm!”

Allison took a deep breath, keeping her hands on Vanya’s shoulders. “Vanny, I love you, I really do, but you need to slow down! I barely understand what you’re saying, just...just cut to the chase and fill me in on the nitty gritty details after, okay?”

“...Right,” Vanya whispered, taking another breath. “T-Two people came into the shop and they asked about Five, claimed they were concerned about his safety-”

“-No one who knows Five is concerned about his safety,” Allison murmured. “You think they’re after him?”

“They have to be,” Vanya insisted before pausing, biting her lip.

“I know that look, Vanya, there’s something else going on.” Allison pressed, removing her hands and folding her arms.

“...I’m just...I’m just worried about Five,” she lied, unable to meet Allison’s gaze. She was worried about Five, it wasn’t a complete lie, but she was more concerned that they had been asking about her as well. Did they know? That she knew? Did they really have that sort of information?

“He can handle himself,” Allison assured, seeming to accept the answer. “I was looking for you anyways, I was going to ask you to come back to the house, we’re having a family meeting.” 

_ You separate yourself from everyone and everything, you always have. _

“And you guys want me there? Even though I separate myself from everyone and everything” Vanya says the words before she can stop herself, the familiar tidal wave of bitterness and guilt hitting here. “No, look, that was...that was mean-”

“No, I get it, last night was...last night was rough,” Allison assured, guilt flashing across her face. “I’m...I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said those things to you yesterday. I was angry at Patrick-”

-And you miss Claire, I know. You’re under a lot of stress with the divorce a-and...I get it,” Vanya assured softly.

“I shouldn’t have said those things even under the stress, it was...it was wrong. I took my anger out on you, that was wrong,” Allison insisted before sheepishly looking away. “I’m not good at this whole sister thing.”

Vanya’s lips twitched in a smile, unable to help but throw her arms around Allison. “You’re doing fine, it’s not like I’ve been an amazing sister either. We can, uh, we can learn how to be better together, okay?”

“Better together, I like that,” Allison mused. “Come on, we should get going before Luther throws a tantrum about us being late.”

“Give me a sec, I’m gonna change out of my uniform, last thing I need is Diego poking fun at the pink.” Vanya snickered, hurrying to the washroom and changing into her usual button up and jeans.

“You, uh, you still didn’t mention why you suddenly started working at Griddy’s.” Allison noted, the pair exiting the bookstore and heading out to the academy. “Weren’t you at the orchestra? What happened with that? You were always spectacular at violin.”

“Spectacular, huh? Dad always said I could barely play,” Vanya mused and shrugged. “I just..I just needed a change of scenery, I guess.”

Allison opened her mouth to press the issue further but a look from Vanya kept her quiet.

“So...what’s this meeting about?” Vanya asked, changing the subject.

Allison grew somber, lips pressed into a thin line. “Mom.”

That was enough for the two to pick up the pace, finding their way back to the Academy.

* * *

“It’s bait, Luther, anyone can see that.”

The group had been staring at the old television that had been placed in front of them, playing the video surveillance footage of the night Reginald had died. But now, now they were staring at Vanya who was wondering why she didn’t play along.

She knew the truth, now she had to push her siblings to find it as well.

She took a deep breath and looked back, “You don’t think this is a bit too staged? A bit too clear? Just...just think about this guys, think what kind of person Dad was-”

“Dad  _ was  _ a good man,” Luther snapped. “What are you trying to say, Vanya?!”

“Dad was not a good man,” she growled, clenching her teeth. “He’s dead, Luther, you can’t impress him anymore, you shouldn’t have ever had to try so hard to impress him.”

“Meowch! Vanya’s got her claws out today,” Klaus mused, munching on...something. “But I’m with Luther - not on the Dad-was-good-part, on the whole, what are you saying?”

Vanya furrowed her brow, fingers tapping the arm of her chair. “How did you get this footage?”

Allison was the one who spoke up, “Pogo showed me it and I just...I stumbled across it.”

“Pogo, of course it was Pogo,” Vanya scoffed. “It’s planned, Pogo knew you were bound to come across this tape. Don’t you think that maybe, just maybe, this is another one of Dad’s weird tests?”

“And what do you know about Dad’s weird tests?” Diego snapped, turning to her with undisguised malice. 

“Maybe not enough as you do, but enough to know I’m not far off.” Vanya retorted, not in the mood to deal with Diego’s attitude. “Can you just...can you all just think about this?”

“We’re thinking about it, Vanya,” Luther said tensely. “And what’s crazier? Mom poisoning Dad or Dad faking his death and then making a mystery of it? Not to mention, you’re accusing Mom and Pogo of just...of just going along with that?!”

Vanya rubbed her temples, glaring back at the larger man. “Are you serious right now? Mom is a  _ robot _ , Luther, Mom is a robot who would obey any command Dad gave her. That’s in her programming! And Pogo...you-you really think that Pogo would choose US over Dad? You think that Luther?!”

The curtains are beginning to lift, she hopes her siblings don’t notice the windows are closed.

Diego got to his feet, towering over his sister. “You know, you have a lot of nerve acting like this. Acting like you can come here, insult Mom and Pogo - more than you have already, and then accuse us of being blind.”

“I’m not insulting them, Diego, I’m stating a damn fact.” She snarled back, returning his glare with her own. “Maybe you don’t want to see it because you and Mom were close, I get that-”

“You don’t get a damn thing!” Diego bellowed, a nerve hit. “You disappear, you write a book on us, a book shitting on us, and then you come and act like you know anything about us!”

“This...this isn’t about the damn book!” She roared back, ignoring the way his hands hovered over his knives. He wouldn’t grab one, not against his ‘ordinary’ sister. “Get your head out of your ass, Diego, look at things objectively.”

Diego’s lips curled into a sneer. “ _ Objectively _ ?! Oh that’s  _ rich  _ coming from you-”

Luther stepped in between the two, his massive body being a pretty strong divider between the two. “That’s enough, okay?! From both of you! We aren’t going to fight over this-”

“It wouldn’t be much of a fight,” Diego taunted.

“Diego, stop,” Luther warned. “Both of you, just back off, okay? Maybe we should deactivate Mom and-”

“Woah, woah, woah, woah, wait,” Diego turned his gaze to Luther. “She’s not just a vacuum cleaner you can throw in a closet. She feels things, I’ve seen it!”

Vanya knew Grace and Diego were close, but all Vanya could remember was the android smiling brightly while putting those  _ damn pills _ in front of her. Maybe she felt things, but she certainly didn’t fight Reginald’s orders.

She blocked out their conversation, arms folded as she looked around. Where the hell was Five? Allison had said it was a family meeting, she had expected her brother would have the decency to show up.

She paused as she saw her siblings looking at her expectedly, rolling her eyes. She didn’t have time for arguments about Grace, “What?”

“See? She doesn’t get a vote, she doesn’t care,” Diego snapped and turned to Klaus.

“I do care, Diego, quit talking for me!” Vanya scowled, ignoring the urge to blast the entire bar into a mess of glass and alcohol. “I just...where’s Five?”

Diego didn’t even glance at her. “Out-”

“Then we don’t vote, not without the whole family,” Vanya said brusquely.

“I’m with Vanya on that, the whole family has to vote, we owe each other that.” Allison piped up, looking at them as though they were children. Vanya couldn’t blame her, they all seemed to revert back to being thirteen around each other.

They exchange a few more words but Vanya blocks them out again, staring at the blonde haired humanoid who was staring at them from the opening way.

Diego followed her gaze, softening as he saw who it was. He said something to her, tone surprisingly kind for the gruff man. Vanya approached slowly from behind, hands tucked into the pockets of her sweater.

“You all seem upset. I’ll make some cookies.” Grace hummed, still in her sing-song tone, as if they hadn’t just been discussing putting her down.

Vanya couldn’t see Diego’s face but she knew he couldn’t be happy. Maybe her brother was a tough talking, irritable, toddler-of-a-man...but he was still her brother and she hated knowing how much this was killing him.

“...I don’t want to shut down Mom,” Vanya is surprised at her own voice. “Maybe...maybe it was all programming but...but those bits of kindness she showed us, just the tiniest bits, it made living here worth it.”

Diego was silent and she took it as approval to go on.

“If...if she is being used as a decoy by Dad, I think she deserves better than that,” Vanya admitted softly. “I know you guys were close, really close, and I don’t have that bond-”

_ When I see her, I see Dad. I see the pills. _

“Do you have a point to this?” Diego’s tone is low but not unwelcoming.

“I’m just sorry all this is happening,” she finished, staring at her feet. 

“I’m sorry that doesn’t mean much to me,” he grunted, turning and heading off. Once he’s far enough, she lets herself relax for a moment, not even flinching as the bulb in the lamp behind her explodes.

She doesn’t see Pogo watching her from the second floor as she walks off, trying to find someone who can help her find Five.

After a bit of interrogation with her siblings, none of them knew where Five was, which pissed Vanya off even more. Of course he couldn’t be bothered to show up when she needed him, that would be far too easy after all!

Klaus was taking a bath, Diego was sitting in his room, and Luther and Allison were outside chatting about  _ something _ . The best chance she would get at catching Five was waiting at the mansion, a thought that made her feel nauseous.

She didn’t hate the building, it just brought back...less than ideal memories to her. Memories of rejection and isolation from her childhood, as well as memories of destruction and betrayal from her last go at the timeline.

She made her way across the balcony over the entrance hall, pausing as a faint hissing noise caught her attention. She looked around, wondering if Grace was boiling tea before the doorknob shot out in the hall, catching her attention.

“That...isn’t good,” she whispered, paling as two individuals, the same individuals from Griddy’s, entered.

She ducked down, eyes widening as she pressed herself against the walls, willing herself to be invisible as they wandered about. She didn’t even breathe a sigh of relief when the man called for his partner, the two entering the other room.

“Shit, shit, shit…!” She whispered, holding her breath as she scrambled to find someone who could help her. Memories flooded her of a talk with Klaus.

_ “What happened?” _

_ Klaus turned to his sister, shirt off, and gave her a curious look. “Sister, dear, Vanny, sugar, you’re going to have to be a bit more specific!” _

_ “The, um, the marks on your skin,” she noted. “Did you do that to yourself…?” _

_ Allison had grown quiet, a guilty look on her face. Vanya didn’t know why. _

_ “I had a, uh, really bad time back in twenty-nineteen, is all.” Klaus chuckled, though it was a dry and bitter laugh, none of the charm Klaus usually held. “Got kidnapped, got tortured, simple as that.” _

_ “You got tortured?!?” Vanya cried, eyes wide. “B-But we saved you, right? That’s what happened, right?! W-We’re a family with superpowers!” _

_ “We didn’t,” Allison spoke up. “At the time we were all...we were absent from each other’s lives, stuck in our problems, still kind of like that. For Klaus...him going missing for so long, it wasn’t uncharacteristic of him.” _

_ “It wasn’t, still isn’t.” Klaus promised, as if to comfort Allison. _

_ “But it wasn’t right, we should have reached out,” Allison insisted. “But instead…” _

_ She trailed off, an uncomfortable silence filling the air between the trio. _

Vanya took a deep breath, walking through the hall and whispering urgently for any of her siblings to show up. She was the only one without basic self-defense training! With her powers still muffled by the pills, she had no chance of taking on the two agents.

Her eyes lit up as she saw Diego, hurrying towards him. “Diego! Diego, listen to me, there are-”

She paused, the sound of a gun cocking cutting her off. She followed his gaze, horror filling her at the sight of two individuals wearing oversized animal heads.

“...Intruders.” 

Then the shooting started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the flow of this one is hnngg but whatever!! it's done and i'm happy to post it after having to complete a midterm lol


	6. Heart of Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cha-Cha and Hazel come to the realization that their opponents aren't exactly ordinary.

Vanya felt Diego roughly drag her out of the hall, listening to the gunshots resonating. She twitched her finger ever so slightly, grinning as the doors of the hall flung open and rammed into Cha-Cha and Hazel with a resounding  _ THWACK _ ! The metallic clang of their headgear rang out, the gunshots stopping as the two recovered.

Diego dragged her away, shifting into his vigilante mode. “You need to get the hell out of here, do you h-hear me? Last thing we need is you being sh-shot.”

Vanya’s eyes widened ever so slightly as his stutter made an appearance, she wasn’t going to fight him on this one. She wouldn’t leave the mansion but she wasn’t going to have Diego fight the intruders alone, not to mention she needed to get Klaus somewhere safe and secure.

She raced down the hall, skidding to a halt as she saw Luther and Allison sitting together outside the window. “People! Masks! Guns!”

That would have to do, for now, not bothering to continue as she raced off to find where Klaus was bathing. God, would it have killed Reginald to have a smaller house? Maybe then she wouldn’t have to run a marathon just to find one of her siblings.

She paused at the sound of humming, practically ripping the door off the handle as she entered, wincing as Klaus let out a short screech at her sudden interruption.

“Vanny! What hell- You can’t- You can’t barge in like th-” Klaus barely got a chance to protest before Vanya began shoving him out, muttering under her bed.

“My room? No, no, too small…” She grumbled. “Allison? No, that’s close to Five’s and they might check there...Ben! Ben’s room! We need to get to Ben’s room!”

“Vanny, can you give a man dressed in only a towel the decency of telling me what the hell is going on?!” He hissed, not fighting his tiny sister as she dragged him to Ben’s old room.

“Intruders, you need to hide until they’re gone,” she insisted. “T-They’re probably after-”

Me, they’re after me.

“-Five. They’ll take any opportunity to find out where he is.” She finished, keeping her gaze ahead as she pulled him into Ben’s room. “Maybe get dressed or- No, no time for that. Just...just stay in the closet-”

“Closet?!”

“Klaus, please...you can’t let them get you,” she pleaded as she opened up the closet and began to pull him in. “Don’t open the door unless you hear me saying it’s okay, okay?”

He paled at the sight of the small space, opening his mouth to argue before squeaking as she practically shoved him in. “Don’t...don’t lock it, Vanny,  _ please  _ don’t lock it.”

Guilt and pity welled up in her chest and she quickly shook her head, forcing a shaky smile to grow on her face. “I won’t, I won’t lock it, Klaus, I won’t lock you anywhere.”

She would have stayed longer to reassure him but the sound of gunshots interrupted them, Vanya lifting a finger to her lips before leaving the closet door open only a crack. She turned, formulating a plan in her head, ignoring Klaus as he whisper-shouted at her.

“Vanya?! Where the hell are you going?! Get in the closet or hide damn it-!”

She waved him off in an attempt to pacify him, hoping he wouldn’t try to follow and stop her. If she could help her siblings, she would - even if meant a discrete flexing of her power. Last time, she hadn’t been prepared, but this time? This time she planned on ending the attack faster.

“Come on, come on,” she muttered, entering Luther’s room and looking around. She caught sight of the rack of weights, internally rolling her eyes (he already had super strength!), before grabbing the lightest weight and hurrying down.

Sure, it was an odd choice of weapon, but Vanya knew it was better than going empty-handed. She hadn’t been allowed to partake in the self-defense training; Reginald claiming she was too small, too frail, and she had accepted that.  _ Bullshit _ was her response to that now.

She crept out through the halls, hearing the sound of gunfire go on and off again followed by the cries of her siblings. Allison and Luther had joined the fray, good, Diego would need the support. Vanya peered downwards through the banister, eyes wide as she saw Luther grabbed the woman while Allison dealt with the man.

“Shit!” She hissed, hurrying down the stairs as Hazel grabbed Allison by the throat and lifted. She nearly threw herself down the stairs, weight in hand. “Let go of my sister asshole!”

She swung the weight low, hitting behind the man’s knees and grinning as his legs buckled in response, Allison dropping to the ground as the man staggered back. Her grin vanished as he turned to her, presumably wearing a furious expression across his face.

“You little-” The masked man didn’t get to finish his threat as Luther grabbed him and flung him like a ragdoll, a scream escaping him.

Vanya breathed out a sigh of relief, “Thank-”

“What the hell are you doing, Vanya?! You need to get somewhere safe!!” Luther snarled, his expression a mix of fury and concern. Vanya wanted to fight back but she could tell Allison and Diego were feeling the same as Luther, this wasn’t an argument she could win and it certainly wasn’t one they had time for.

She barely had time to run as the masked figures were up on their feet, the woman wearing the pink dog head firing a few shots at them. Allison gestured for her to go and Vanya grimaced, reluctantly obeying and hurrying to find a safe vantage point to keep an eye on things.

She wasn’t going to hide anymore, she was going to be there for her siblings even if they didn’t want her there.

Vanya skittered back up the stairs, using her front hands to push herself faster, the carpet scraping at the skin ever so slightly. She kept her legs bent, opting to crawl instead of walk as she watched the man open the cabinet, pulling out the ball-and-chain flail that their Father had kept on display.

_ Shit, shit, not good, put that down!  _ She thought frantically. She took a deep breath, focusing on the sound of the frantic footsteps and banging across the mansion. She reached her hand out ever so slightly, gasping - a bit too loudly - and forcing the flail from the man’s hand and flinging it across the room.

She would have whooped in delight, a smile growing on her face- before promptly paling as the masked man stared up at her from below. Shit, that wasn’t good at all.

“You,” he breathed through the mask. 

Nope, nope, nope, NOPE! Vanya scrambled to her feet, hurrying as far as she could through the upper halls, acutely aware of the man’s footsteps following her. _ Shit, shit, shit, shi- _

Stars filled her gaze as something hit her head, Vanya teetering dangerously before falling down the stairs roughly, rolling right in front of the man with her back to him. “... _ Shit _ .”

The man spoke, his voice bitter and irritated as he bent down, pinning her arms behind her and roughly tying them up. “You little  _ bitch _ , you better hope my pay isn’t cut because you live with a bunch of freaks-!”

Vanya bit back a retort, instead opting to scream out, “LUTHER! ALLISON! DIE-”

Fabric wedged itself in her mouth, cutting off her cry for help.

“Yeah, yeah, none of that,” the man hissed. “Now you’re gonna come along and quit making this job so damn difficult.”

“Yeah, that isn’t going to happen.” Vanya’s heart soared and she tried to look behind her, ignoring the dribble of blood that made its way down the side of her face.

_ Luther! _

The man hoisted her up from the ground, holding her in front of him like a shield. “You move, I snap her neck, you hear me?”

Luther snarled back but didn’t approach, not wanting to take the chance. But Vanya wasn’t going to give her captor a chance.

She kicked back furiously, grinning in her mind as she hit his groin dead on. His grip loosened and she pulled away, stumbling towards Luther and behind him.  _ Should have tied my legs, asshole! _

Vanya wiggled in her binds, letting out irritated squeaks in an attempt to get Luther to free her. The massive man turned to her, hands moving to free her before he was clocked roughly in the face.

Vanya shrieked at the hit in her binds, stepping back as Luther turned to the masked man, clearly not too impressed by the hit. “You’re gonna have to wait for me to finish this, Vanya! Just go hide and we’ll deal with it when I’m done!”

She furrowed her brow, biting back irritation at having to be restrained for much longer but didn’t argue - she really couldn’t with a damn piece of fabric in her mouth. Instead, she hurried to the stairs, wincing as gunshots rang out from nearby.

She bit back the urge to go investigate, she was even more of a liability with her hands bound. Vanya winced as her head pounded, fighting the urge to lie down on the floor and allow herself to pass out. Whatever he had thrown at her had shattered on impact, she couldn’t help but worry there were still shards in the wound.

She froze as footsteps echoed throughout the second-floor hall, pressing herself into a corner she watched the dog-masked woman pull out a knife from her thigh before turning to the chandelier - and Luther underneath. It took Vanya seconds to figure out what she was going to do.

She looked down to see Allison and Diego emerging from different rooms, hurrying to Luther to check on him, before Luther met the gaze of the dog-masked woman and he recognized what was going to happen as well.

She pushed down the voice screaming at her not to be stupid - most likely her common sense - and dashed out from her hiding spot, smashing her head into the side of the woman. But it was too late, she jabbed the knife into the switch that held the canopy of the chandelier, and Vanya could only watch in horror as Luther shoved his brother and sister away, taking on the full force of the chandelier.

_ Luther! _ She wailed mentally, struggling as the woman grabbed her by her binds and began to drag her away.  _ No, no, no! Let me go damn it, let me go! I need to see my brother! _

The woman spoke, thoroughly pissed off. “You are  _ damn lucky _ that you’re needed alive, you hear me? Because right now, I want to slit your fucking throat.”

_ I could say the same for you _ .

Footsteps echoed out and Vanya narrowed her eyes at the sight of the bear-masked man, hurrying after his partner. “Tie her feet up, she’s a kicker.”

The woman huffed in annoyance and Vanya felt herself heaved over the man’s shoulders, kicking her feet before she felt someone roughly grab them and tie them together. Well, there went the option of physically fighting her way out of this.

_ You are five feet and one inch, fighting with these two is a terrible idea, _ the voice scoffed.

_ Yeah, I’m aware, asshole,  _ she snapped back.

So she focused. She focused on their footsteps, white spots decorating her vision, and power soared through her veins. With a deep breath, she let go of every bit of it in a brilliant display of power, an orb of raw power forming around her and sending the two masked figures flying.

The bear-masked man smashed into the wall, groaning bitterly. The dog-masked woman wasn’t lucky enough to stay conscious, flying across the hall and hitting the wall  _ hard _ , the thud echoing out.

“...Shit, shit, Cha-Cha! Cha-Cha?!” The man cried, abandoning Vanya on the floor as he hurried towards his partner. “This is...this is...shit!”

He glanced back at the tied up Vanya and glanced behind her, the sounds of footsteps and voices growing louder. He glared before taking the unconscious woman in his arms and fleeing, leaving Vanya on the floor clinging to consciousness.

She trembled slightly, cheek pressed against the rug underneath her as she tried to lift herself up, hissing in pain at the throbbing in her head. She barely made out the words being said to her, much less know who was talking to her.

She whimpered in protest as she was lifted, though much more gently than before, and propped up against someone’s chest. She looked up to see Allison looking down at her in concern, her hands moving and removing the gag from her mouth.

“Vanya? Vanya, stay with me, okay? Diego, cut her free already,” Allison snapped and grimaced at the sight of the wound on Vanya’s forehead. “Glass, we’ll need Mom to help pick out the shards. Vanya, we need to turn you over a bit, okay? Just to cut your arms loose.”

Vanya nodded, still struggling to stay awake, groaning as Allison carefully turned her around. Diego muttered something under his breath but Vanya couldn’t hear it, only sighing in relief as the tight ropes were cut and blood began to flow back to her hands.

“Shit, ” Allison muttered, adjusting Vanya in her arms. “Wish Luther hadn’t run off, we could use him right now.”

“Let me take her,” Diego grunted, moving in and surprisingly gently taking his small sister in his arms. “You’re an idiot, you know that? No training, no weapon, and you tackle an armed intruder.”

Vanya went to rebuke him before a thought crossed her mind, one that made her begin to struggle in Diego’s arms. She struggled to form a sentence, her head feeling as if it was full of cotton. “Klaus! Klaus! Klaus...closet!”

“She must have a concussion,” Allison said worriedly, reaching out and pulling hairs out of Vanya’s face. “Klaus? Closet? Vanya, you have to use your words.”

“In closet!” She cried, continuing to struggle to free herself Diego even when he held her a bit tighter. “Hide-closet-Klaus!”

Allison’s eyes widened with recognition, “Klaus is hiding in a closet?”

Vanya nodded before wincing, immediately regretting moving her head so fast. “I...I hid...closet. Ben’s room.”

“You put Klaus into a closet to hide him and then you didn’t think for a moment that maybe you should have also hid,” Diego scoffed. “You’re lucky you got your head smashed up enough already, I should give you a good smack and maybe jostle some brain cells into working.”

She glared at him, forcing her eyes to stay open as Diego carried her after Allison, the two heading through the rooms and entering Ben’s. There was no time to feel sorrow for their lost brother as Allison opened the closet door, Vanya sighing in relief as she caught sight of her brother huddled in the back with a pale expression.

“Klaus…!” She called, a small smile on her face as he looked up in relief. “Sorry...took long.”

“V-Vanny...you look like shit,” Klaus breathed, an undeniable tremor of fear and worry in his voice. “What the hell happened? Where’s Luther?!”

Allison and Diego exchanged a look between themselves, one that worried both Vanya and Klaus.

“Luther is...Luther is fine,” Allison assured weakly. “He got hit by the chandelier and his clothes got ripped up, he went to get dressed.”

It wasn’t a lie.

Vanya groaned as Diego moved, setting her down on Ben’s bed and stepping back, arms folded. “Stay awake, do you understand? After pulling a stunt like that, you’re going to lay there and listen to me.”

Vanya is silent, head still pounding and Diego’s harsh tone wasn’t helping.

“You shouldn’t have been here, you should have left the damn house or hid,” he scolded. “You have no training, no power, no nothing! You barely had a weapon and it was what? A five-pound dumbbell?! You barely got away when you shouldn’t have been ‘gotten’ in the first place.”

“Diego, ease up on her-” Klaus was silenced as Diego turned to him, a furious look in her eyes.

“I’m not going to ease up on her!” He snapped, turning back to Vanya and pointing his finger aggressively at her. “You could’ve been killed or gotten any one of us killed, do you understand?!”

He turned to Allison and Klaus, finger still trained on Vanya in the bed, “She is a liability.”

Vanya wants to fight back, defend herself, to say that hadn’t been a burden - but her head is growing fuzzy and the corners of her vision are beginning to turn black. Shit, she did not have time to blackout, especially when she needed to warn Five of what was going on.

“Diego, ease up,” Allison said, a warning in her voice. “You can lecture her later, right now I doubt she’s barely processing what you’re saying. We need to find Mom and get her stitched up.”

Klaus raised his hand, “I vote Diego gets her. He doesn’t seem to have anything nice to say after all.”

“The truth isn’t always nice,” Diego retorted. “But fine, I’ll get Mom.”

He turned and stalked out, leaving the three alone.

Vanya looked at them, staring at Allison and Klaus as they seemed to process Diego’s words. “...Liability, huh.”

“Get me a wet cloth,” Allison murmured to Klaus, her brother hurrying out before she turned her attention back to Vanya. Vanya recognizes the look, one of guilt but not remorse, Allison barely able to meet her gaze.

She agreed with Diego, Vanya couldn’t blame her.

“He’s just worried about you, okay? You know he’s shit with his feelings,” Allison murmured, taking Vanya’s hand and gently squeezing it. “You aren’t like us, Vanya, what you did was dangerous. You have no training, no...no power.”

Vanya looked away, shifting her gaze to stare straight ahead, unable to look at her sister. She closed her eyes as Klaus hurried back in, this time with a wet cloth and a glass of water.

“I, uh, I figured you should stay hydrated, baby sis.” Klaus hummed, doing his best to lighten the mood as he set the water glass on the nightstand and handed the wet cloth to Allison.

“Same age,” Vanya grumbled. What was with her siblings calling her their baby sister? They were the same age!

“Yeah, yeah, it’s a spiritual thing.” Klaus teased and lowered his voice, “You, uh, you were really concerned for me, weren’t you? Thank you, Vanny, that’s sweet of you but seriously, you should have hidden with me.”

“Probably,” she mumbled back, reaching out and moving a stray hair from his forehead. Klaus couldn’t help but smile at the action, a small smile on Allison’s lips as well.

The quiet moment was interrupted as Diego entered abruptly with no Grace in sight, his hands trembling ever so slightly. “They got Mom.”

“Shit,” Allison swore.

“The only other person who knows as much about first aid is…” Klaus trailed off, the three turning to look at the dazed Vanya.

Vanya had always wanted to make herself useful as a child, and that included helping their Mom patch up wounds. While Grace took care of the more serious wounds, Vanya had been invited to learn the basics and over the years had eventually become the kid’s secret medic whenever they got hurt and didn’t want Dad to find out.

Scraped knees from playing in the halls when they weren’t supposed to, cuts from sneaking out - they had always gone to Vanya who had dug out her first aid kit and patched them up.

Vanya winced as she adjusted herself, “No, no, it’s not that serious-”

“You have glass in your head,” Diego scoffed.

Vanya rolled her eyes, “Just...just get me a mirror, tweezers, and a magnifying glass, okay? I can clean out the wound myself, it’s not that difficult-”

“Uh, no, one of us can do it,” Allison insisted. “You say it’s not difficult? Then you can just walk us through it, alright?”

“I got this, you two should get yourselves bandaged up anyways.” Klaus assured and wiggled his eyebrows playfully, “Don’t want a pretty hair out of its pretty place, eh?”

Diego rolled his eyes, “This ain’t over, okay? I’m gon’ check if they got anything else, see what they were after, and then we can talk about why they tied up  _ her  _ of all people.”

Allison gave Vanya’s hand another gentle squeeze, whispering reassurances to the other woman before pulling away and heading off in the direction of Luther’s bedroom.

Klaus waved them goodbye before turning to Vanya, “I need to grab that stuff you mentioned, alright? Stay awake and don’t go towards the light, last thing we need is you going out in this room of all places.”

She simply smiled back, eyes widening softly as he whispered something to the empty air beside him, before wiggling his fingers in a wave as he headed off to find what she had asked for.

Vanya waited until Klaus’ footsteps were faint enough before she turned to the empty air, voice soft but hopeful. “Ben? Ben are you there?”

No response but she hadn’t been expecting one.

“Ben...Ben, I don’t know if you remember, if you’re even there, but…” She trailed off, fighting back the sob that was building up in her throat. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry...I’m going to make things right this time, okay? I promise.”

_ I destroyed you. _

“I didn’t get to say it last time, you know before you were gone.” She continued, tears welling up in her eyes. “But...but I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Ben. I wasn’t there-”

She can feel the cold on her shoulders, the bite of both frost and grief.

_ It wasn’t anybody’s fault. _

_ How would you know, Vanya? You weren’t even on the mission. _

“But I’m here now and maybe they’ll hate me for it, but I don’t care,” she continued. Tears were freely rolling down her cheeks but she didn’t care. “I’m here now and...and I’m going to try harder to be there for all of them, in the way I wasn’t for you.”

She might have been sobbing to empty air but she didn’t care, it felt good to get it all out.

“I’m...I’m here now.”

Vanya can’t say anymore, sobs racking her body. She hadn't realized Diego had been outside the bedroom pressed against the wall, eyes misty as he listened in on her talk to their brother as if he were really there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: so many nice comments! im busy now so i'll reply to them later  
> me, a week later: SHIT
> 
> thank you so much to everyone following along!! this was a fun chapter to work on!!


	7. The One Where Dave is Mentioned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hargreeves learn that withdrawal + concussion = very emotional and delirious Vanya.

The soft knock on his door made Luther look up from his hands, now sporting a new coat. He didn’t bother to get the door, opting to stay in bed and reminisce on older times. He didn’t glance over as the door opened up, Allison entering with a sympathetic look on her face.

Neither of them spoke, there wasn’t really much to say at the moment. Instead, she took a seat on the side of his bed, placing a hand on his arm and rubbing her thumb in circles on the fabric.

Luther rolled away from her touch, grimacing, and opting to avoid the elephant in the room, “How’s Vanya?”

“She’s resting in Ben’s room now, she has a concussion but she should recover,” she said. “They roughed her up pretty bad, I still don’t get why they tried to take her.”

Luther shrugged half-heartedly, “How are you?”

“I’m fine, some bruises but nothing terrible,” Allison assured. “Luther...can we talk about this? About...about you?”

“I don’t want to talk about me,” Luther grumbled. “Can we just...leave it? For now.”

“For now,” Allison echoed weakly and sighed. “Luther, I know you probably want to rest but Diego wants us to talk about Vanya and what we’re going to do.”

“What we’re going to do? Isn’t it obvious?” Luther scoffed. “She’s going to recover and then stay in the mansion where it’s safe.”

“...We literally just had two armed intruders break-in,” Allison deadpanned. “Besides, Vanya isn’t going to want to stay in this mansion, none of us will. Just...come, won’t you?”

Luther sighed, sitting up and turning to her, “...Fine. Where are you going?”

Allison had gotten to her feet, straightening the wrinkles in her clothes. “Investigate what happened with Vanya, I want to know why they left her there in that hall. It just...I saw a flash and then they’re gone and she was just laying there. Something happened.”

Luther paused before getting to his feet, “I’ll come with you then. I have to leave this room anyways.”

Allison smiled at that, gently resting a hand on his arm before leading him out to the hall where they had found Vanya laying. From the angle that they stood at, not much was wrong, but Allison paled as she moved further down to find the subtle signs of destruction.

The sides of the wall were slightly smashed from some sort of impact and the mirror that decorated the hall was cracked. She held her breath, mind racing as she tried to come to some sort of conclusion of what happened.

“Holy shit,” Luther’s whisper broke her from her thoughts and she turned to him, following his gaze upwards and gasping. The entirety of the ceiling was blasted open, the two turning to each other with worry.

“Did they blow themselves up?!” Luther whispered.

“N-No, we would have heard the blast,” Allison insisted. “Maybe Five? M-Maybe he just dropped in and ran off.”

Luther didn’t look convinced. “Wouldn’t Vanya have mentioned that?”

“I’m just listing possibilities,” Allison muttered, rubbing her temples. “God, I hope Vanya has some answers.”

* * *

“Watch her, would you?” Klaus whispered to Ben, glancing back at his ragged-looking sister.

“Always,” Ben murmured, surprisingly serious.

Klaus gave Vanya one last smile before hurrying out to gather the items she had requested, opting to head to the bathroom nearest to Allison’s room in hopes that there were still some tweezers he could use. 

“And bingo was his name-o,” he chuckled as he pulled out a pink tweezer. “Okay, okay...what else did Vanny say? Tweezers, magnifying glass...mirror? No mirror needed, so...antibiotics and bandages, that should be right.”

He dug around the bathroom closet, whistling as he procured the first aid kit they kept. He held it under his arm as he headed out, hurrying back to Ben’s room, only stopping when he saw Diego sitting by the door, his back to the wall.

What caught Klaus’ attention, however, was the way his brother rubbed his eyes furiously, blinking away any sign that he may have been crying.

“Oh my gosh, tough-as-nails Diego is all misty-eyed because his whittle itty bitty sister is hurt!” Klaus cooed, winking playfully at Diego. “You’re a total soft cookie, aren’t you?”

“Oh shut up,” Diego scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I just, she...she’s out of it, Klaus.”

Klaus raised a brow at that. “Out of it? Why I would assume getting an object-”

“Plate,” Diego interrupted. “I searched around, she got one of those mini plates thrown at her. The ones we used for the cups.”

“Right, well, I assume getting a tiny cup plate thrown at your head would make you out of it.” Klaus continued, moving to enter the room.

Diego extended his arm, stopping Klaus from entering. “She’s talking to Ben.”

“Vanya? Vanya is talking to Ben? Ben, our dead brother? That Ben?” Klaus scoffed, an incredulous look on his face. “Dee-Dee, did you get your head smashed as well? Because last I checked, seeing dead people is sort of like, I don’t know, my thing.”

“She’s obviously not actually talking to him, well, she is but it’s like…” Diego trailed off, gesturing with his hands as he tried to find the words. “Just...don’t be weird, okay? Some of the stuff she’s saying just doesn’t really make sense.”

Klaus turned to him, pursing his lips, “For example?”

Diego rolled his eyes, leaning forward, “She started bawling to Ben about being called a KGB agent. Is that a good enough example?”

Klaus pointed at him, grimacing at that. “Okay, yeah, that’s a little out of it. Look, we’ll be careful, okay? Very careful, super careful.”

Klaus gave Diego’s cheek a light reassuring pat before skipping into the room, “Vaaaannyyy~! I brought tweezers and the magnifying glass and- Oh my God, you two are a  _ mess _ .”

Ben was curled on the bed with Vanya, looking to Klaus with teary eyes. “She’s talking to me, Klaus, she’s talking to  _ me _ ! A-And she misses me, she misses me! I mean, sometimes I don’t know what she’s saying but I feel it!”

“Okay, okay,” Klaus hissed softly, gesturing for Ben to calm down - confusing an already confused Diego even more. “Okay Vanny, time for Nurse Klaus to help you.”

Vanya stared at him, trembling violently before bursting into tears. “You-You...you’re gonna h-hate me! You’re gonna hate me after this!”

Klaus’ eyes widened and he turned to Diego, looking for some sort of explanation as to what they’re sister was talking about. Diego could only shrug, keeping close to the door so he could try and escape Vanya’s emotional breakdown at any moment.

“Okay, okay, Vanya,” Klaus cooed, approaching the sobbing woman. “I am not going to hate you-”

“Of course you aren’t!” She wailed. “You can’t remember  _ anything _ !”

“That’s true, your memory is shit,” Ben sniffled.

“Not. Helping.” Klaus hissed, sitting on the side of the bed. “Vanya, I really need you to just, uh, calm down a bit so I can work on that wound, okay? You can cry but just, you know, try not to move.”

Vanya nodded, doing her best not to move as Klaus worked on picking out the shards of glass from her head. “Y-You don’t know why you’re gonna hate me, but you are, j-just like Diego hates me!”

“Diego doesn’t hate you,” Klaus soothed and turned to his brother. “Isn’t that right, Diego?”

Diego paused, clearly reluctant to say anything, and only speaking when Klaus’ gave him his best death glare. “I don’t hate you, I don’t hate you...I’m just...I’m just pissed off.”

“What’s new?” Klaus mused, grinning as Vanya giggled slightly at that. “Now why do you think I’ll hate you, Vanya?”

Vanya sniffled at that, eyes cast downwards. “Y-You’re never gonna get sober ‘cause you’ll never meet Dave ‘cause you never got captured and tortured and maybe that’s good ‘cause Dave’s from the Vietnam war and when even was that? Like, what? The nineteen-sixties?”

“Well, it started in nineteen-fifty-five and ended in nineteen-seventy-five and- oh my God why do I know that.” Klaus deadpanned, disbelief in his voice before shaking his head. “Vanny, you have a pretty severe concussion, okay? You don’t know what you’re saying-”

“No! No I do!” She wailed. “But you can’t remember and I’m not gonna let you remember! Because if you remember then you’ll hate me!”

“We already went over this, no one is going to hate you,” Klaus promised. “Even Diego said he doesn’t hate you, isn’t that good?”

Vanya furrowed her brows. “...When did Diego say that?”

Klaus scoffed, inspecting her head and clicking his tongue when he realized that he had gotten the shards all out of the wound. “And you say my memory is shit.”

“It’s a symptom of the concussion, dumbass,” Ben snorted. “She needs some rest but, you know, short spurts in case she doesn’t wake up.”

“Since when do you become a doctor?” Klaus muttered, Vanya looking at him curiously.

“Are you talking to Ben?” She asked softly. “I know he likes to hang out with you but does that mean he was listening? He heard what I said right?”

Klaus paused, glancing at Ben and taking a deep breath, trying to ignore the way Diego’s gaze burned into his back. “...He heard and he’s not mad at you, okay? You’re his baby sister after all.”

“We are the same age!” She huffed.

“As I said, I call you baby sister in a spiritual sense,” he teased as he placed the bandage over her wound. “Okay, I probably did a shitty job compared to you and Mom but it’ll do, it’ll do.”

“It’ll do, thank you, Klaus.” Vanya hummed and sniffled, “I don’t really want you guys to remember, you know? Maybe it’s selfish, it kind of is, but I want a fresh start! I want to try again, you know?”

“Nope, we really don’t,” Diego deadpanned. “How long is she going to be like this? If she starts crying again, I’m out.”

“Don’t be an asshole, Dee-Dee, she got hurt and you’re the one who wants the family meeting on what to do.” Klaus retorted, moving a few stray strands of hair from Vanya’s face. “Why don’t you go get Allison and Luther and-”

“No need,” a voice assured, Allison and Luther entering the room.

Klaus paused, feeling his sister beginning to tremble once more. “Oh my God, Vanya, I know you’re a mess right now but please don’t start crying-”

Vanya burst into tears, earning a pair of uncomfortable sighs from Diego and Klaus.

“Why is she crying?” Allison asked, raising a brow and turned to glare at Diego. “What the hell did you say to her?!”

“I-I didn’t say anything!” Diego cried, holding his hands up defensively.

“Our emo brother is correct in that, he kept his trap shut,” Klaus mused. “To quote him, Vanya is very out of it.”

“Out of it?” Luther repeated, folding his arms.

“She thought I was in the Vietnam war.”

“Oh.”

Allison shooed Klaus off the side of the bed - much to his dismay - and took a seat next to their sister, who reached out and touched Allison’s neck as if it would shatter at any moment. Allison forced a smile, gently removing her sister’s hands.

“Okay Vanya, just take it easy,” she soothed. “We’re gonna ask you some questions tomorrow, okay? Because right now I can tell you are...you are not doing okay right now.”

Vanya nodded before freezing, clutching Allison’s arm. “Work, oh my God, I need to call Miss Rofas- shit, no, Agnes, I need to call Agnes.”

“You need to stay in bed,” Allison assured. “Someone else can call, alright?”

“I’ll do that,” Diego grunted. “It’ll give me an excuse to get away from whatever this is.”

With that, he hurried off.

Vanya took the moment of quiet to continue on, “And where is Five?! I need to talk to Five and he’s out doing God knows what! You know what makes me mad?! I bet he told you guys something, anything!”

“Well, we have like a, uh, a vague idea,” Klaus admitted. “I mean, if you’re mad at him, I did punch him in the face.”

“You what?!” The three siblings cried, looking at him in disbelief.

“Okay, okay, but he wanted information and I was getting it!” Klaus whined, a pout on his face. “I should be getting praised for my commitment to my siblings.”

“Commitment, huh?”

They turned, each with their own reactions of relief and annoyance, to see Five standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets.

“Never a quiet day here, I see you managed to destroy the chandelier.” Five snorted, moving forward into the room. “Mind telling me what the hell happened?!”

“There was a break in with two armed intruders, they tried to take off with Vanya,” Luther explained. “You have anything to say about that?”

“Not particularly,” Five grunted, approaching Vanya. “They tried to take you?”

Vanya lunged forward furiously, grabbing his tie and pulling him close. “Where the hell have you been?! Do you know how long I’ve been looking for you?!? Waiting for you?!? Then you come strolling in after the damage has been done as if you’ve done nothing wrong?!?”

Five yelped and pulled away, straightening his tie and glaring at her. “I am so sorry I haven’t been adhering to your schedule, Vanya, but I have been a bit busy!”

“Too busy to just pop in?! There were people asking about you at my work, Five,” she hissed. “Then they come here and shoot up the place!”

“They were at your work?” Five repeated, eyes wide.

“They said they were concerned about you which is bullshit, obviously,” she scoffed. “Then they came in and tried to kidnap me!”

“Okay, okay, how about we all cool down?” Allison stepped in between the two, hands outstretched. “Vanya, you’re clearly agitated from the concussion and Five, you need to stick around so we can have a proper family meeting about what to do about this.”

Diego popped back in, “I got you a week off work, Vanya. Your boss told me to tell you to get better and shit.”

Vanya only nodded in response, still glaring daggers at Five.

“Moving on, I got some questions,” Diego growled. “Why go after Vanya? She’s got no powers, no influence, nothing that they could want.”

“Ouch,” Vanya mumbled.

Five wiggled his finger in thought, “If they saw Vanya at her work and tracked her back to the academy while connecting me to the academy...she’s a perfect hostage. No powers, tiny, weak-”

“Now you’re trying to hurt my feelings,” Vanya whined.

“-They send a note saying they have Vanya, we go get her, and it's a trap.” Five finished. “It’s...it’s not like she hasn’t been turned into a hostage before.”

An uncomfortable silence fell on the siblings, each remembering the last time Vanya had been allowed to accompany them from a distance. After the incident, Reginald had insisted that she stay at the academy from then on, cementing the distance between Vanya and her siblings.

“...It makes sense,” Klaus mumbled. “So, what do we do about that?”

“Isn’t it obvious? We don’t let them get her,” Diego scoffed. “We take shifts with her, keep her safe.”

“Oh my God, Vanya defense squad!” Klaus cheered, earning a small smile from Vanya.

“That...that’s actually a half-decent idea,” Allison said, realization dawning upon her. “I mean, she needs someone with her while she recovers here-”

“Not here, I’m not staying in the academy.” Vanya insisted, her siblings looking surprised at the outburst. “I’m staying in my apartment, okay? I’m not getting trapped here again.”

Five raised a brow, “Again?” 

“She’s out of it, don’t look into it,” Klaus whispered.

“It’s probably for the best then,” Luther spoke up. “The academy will need time to boost our defenses, they got in here way too easily. Vanya’s home is a bit more subtle.”

“A-And I want Five to take the first watch,” she pressed before yawning. “He owes me that.”

“Vanya I am busy, I don’t have time to-”

Vanya glared at him, ignoring the exhaustion pulling on her eyelids. “You owe me. For your arm.”

The Boy folded his arms in response, huffing before reluctantly nodding. “Fine, I’ll take first watch with Vanya.”

Allison smiled, lifting the covers from underneath Vanya and over her. “I’m getting tired just watching you. You rest, okay?”

Vanya whined but didn’t protest, closing her eyes as Allison ran her fingers through her hair, before eventually succumbing to exhaustion. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is more of a bridge chapter to set up some stuff for the next few chapters, either way i hope y'all enjoy! it's bit shorter but you know how it be


	8. Rat or Pigeon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya and her siblings get some bonding time! Meanwhile, Klaus meets up with a certain someone for lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning! Near the end of the chapter, a character goes into a state similar to a seizure. While not graphic, please take care if this sort of content upsets you.

It’s dark. It’s very dark. But Vanya isn’t frightened of the dark, she’s never been. She knows the others have their reservations about it but she’d grown accustomed to sneaking around in the shadows when she snuck down to the kitchen to make sandwiches for Five.

She’s also not afraid because she knows she’s asleep, none of this is real. That’s what she tells herself. She’s asleep in Ben’s room after bawling like a baby to her siblings because she had lost any real will to push down her emotions any longer. She missed having pills to do that for her.

“They’re going to hate you.”

Vanya whipped around, stepping back as she came face-to-face with herself. Thirteen, wearing their uniform, with a blank expression on her face. That probably wasn’t a good sign.

“Well, they already hate me enough already,” she’s glad her voice doesn’t shake. 

“When they remember, they’re going to hate you for not telling.”

Oh.  _ Oh _ . 

“They’re going to hate you for changing things to make yourself look better,” her younger self continues on. “You’re not telling them because you’re afraid, you’re not telling them because you’re  _ selfish _ . You’re clinging onto when you couldn’t remember, when you had amnesia, because you got to start over with a whole new life with people who didn’t know what you did”

Vanya was quiet, staring at her younger self before taking a deep breath and speaking.

“...So what?”

She was tired of denying it, why not just embrace it? She wanted to live in a world where she never slashed Allison’s throat, never got a suffocating hug from her brother, and never became the reason Five had spent years upon years of his life in ruins with only a mannequin for company. It wouldn’t ease their minds, they didn’t know, but it would ease her’s.

“You’re letting them run around trying to solve mysteries you hold the answers to,” her younger self deadpanned. “But you’re going to snap, you’re going to struggle, and then? Then when they remember, when they turn on you  _ again _ , when you can’t breathe and the walls are too close together; you’re going to call on me.”

Vanya furrowed her brows together, backing away slowly. “I-I...I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

_ “You’re going to let me out.” _

And then she’s awake in Ben’s room, breath ragged and sweat running down her body. She flexed her fingers, catching her breath as she pulled herself out from under the blankets and slowly swung her legs to the side of the bed.

“Miss Vanya.” It’s Pogo and Vanya can’t say she’s ready to talk to him.

“Pogo,” she whispered back, eyes glued to the floor. “Where...where is everyone?”

“Master Diego made a call to someone he referred to as an “old academy friend,” whereas Master Klaus told me to wish you well before leaving. He did not specify where he was going.” Pogo explained, approaching her. “Miss Vanya, I would like to talk.”

“I suppose it was inevitable, wasn’t it? This talk?” She met his gaze, surprised to find nothing but concern. “You can’t control what I do, Pogo.”

“It isn’t a matter of control-”

“Bullshit.” Vanya’s calmness is deadly. “It always and I’m tired of you denying it, I’m tired of you trying to play mediator when I think you know what dad did was wrong. What he did to me, what he did to all of us.”

Pogo was surprisingly calm as well, “Your father did what he thought was best.”

“His best got Five to run away, his best got Ben killed.” She hissed and forced her power down, not wanting to risk breaking any of Ben’s things. “I’m an adult now and Reginald is dead, I’m going to do what I should have done long ago and start making decisions about what I want for myself.”

Pogo took a deep breath, mouth partly open in thought. “You know, don’t you?”

“I do,” she said evenly, raising her chin. “You can’t stop me from doing what I need to do, Pogo, so don’t try and stop me. You couldn’t even if you tried.”

The chimpanzee looked conflicted but only for a moment, turning his back to her. “...I’ve said it before but it seems I must say it again, I wish the best for you.”

Vanya didn’t respond, watching as the elderly primate left the room only for her brother to take his place.

“Quite the tense conversation,” Five mused.

“Eavesdropping is rude,” she retorted as she carefully pushed herself to her feet, stumbling slightly and blinking in surprise when Five reached out and steadied her.

“We can talk more about whatever that was, alright? I can tell now you’re going to pussyfoot around the subject,” Five pointed out. “As you requested, you’re stuck with me for the day.”

“Oh no, how terrible,” she chuckled. “Is Mom still down? Diego mentioned she was yesterday.”

“Mom is still down,” he confirmed and raised his brows. “I’m surprised you remember anything from last night, you were rather delirious.”

“I’ll make breakfast then, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one in this house who can cook.” Vanya mused, ignoring his last comment. “Any requests? You must be dying for a proper meal.”

“After years of eating rats and cockroaches, I’ll take anything.” His tone was nonchalant, as if he hadn’t just told her something horrifying.

She grimaced, wanting to reach out and hug her brother, to tell him he would never go back. But she could, with the gleam in his eyes, that he was still in survival mode. A hug would probably be disastrous.

“Oh Five,” she murmured, opting to turn around and head towards the kitchen. “Pogo didn’t tell me where Klaus went.”

“We barely know ourselves, he looked at his phone, said he forgot about a date, and then hurried off.” Five admitted, following her around the still-fallen chandelier. “But we have our assumptions.”

Vanya frowned, heaving a sigh and nodding. “Yeah, I understand.”

Klaus, in the kindest words she could find, was a mess. Vanya couldn’t really blame her brother now that she knew more about him, Reginald was a ruthless mentor along with being a terrible father. She remembered his terrified look as she pushed him into the closet and bit her lip.

“Vanya!”

The woman in question looked up, realizing they had made it to the kitchen, Luther and Allison beating them to it. Allison gave her a concerned smile, hurrying to her sister, and gently cupping her hands across Vanya’s cheeks, using it to guide her head so she could inspect her wounds.

“Are you feeling better?” Allison asked, voice laced with worry. “You were really emotional last night, you kept crying and-and I hadn’t seen you like that since...since…”

Allison trailed off, leaving the words unspoken. But they all knew what she meant, Vanya especially.

_ Since we were kids. _

Vanya forced a smile and nodded, “I’m fine now, okay? Thank you, everyone, for looking out for me last night. I know trying to fight the intruders was dumb-”

“Very dumb,” Luther grumbled from the end of the table.

“Very dumb,” Vanya acknowledged. “So thank you for taking care of a dummy like myself.”

That got Luther to look at her and crack the tiniest of smiles before he hid it back under his serious leader facade.

“Five told me Mom is still down so I’ll make breakfast,” Vanya assured as she moved to the refrigerator to see what she could whip up. “I was going to make some bacon and eggs, how does that sound?”

“Are you sure you’re okay to cook?” Allison asked, looking uneasy at the thought of Vanya cooking.

“I’m fine, eggs are easy,” she promised with a tiny grin. “But if-if you, uh, you want to help out…”

Allison beamed at the offer, inserting herself quickly into the pictures and getting to work on chopping up some of the mushrooms. “Claire is still at that age where she doesn’t want to eat anything but crackers and buttered toast. I’m worried she’s not getting enough fruits and veggies.”

“I can’t blame her, everything was so intense at that age,” Vanya mused. “You know, I still can’t stand oatmeal. Even after years of dad shoving it down our throats, I can’t stand it.”

“Not even with a little sugar or cinnamon?” It was Luther who spoke up, voice quiet as if he were ashamed to be talking to his siblings.

Vanya only smiled, “Not even with a little sugar or cinnamon. It’s not the end of the world, there are plenty of other breakfast options. You guys want spinach in the eggs?”

“Spinach? I come back from an apocalyptic wasteland and you’re trying to make me eat spinach?” Five snorted, folding his arms. “Vanya, that’s a total dad move.”

“You take that back!” She gasped, unable to help but laugh. “Fine, fine, no spinach.”

Five cracked a grin, “And extra cheese! God I have missed cheese.”

“Amen to that,” Allison laughed, getting the grater out and putting it in front of Luther. “Come on big guy, extra cheese.”

Luther blinked in surprise, almost considering rejecting the order before beginning to grate it. “Mom would never put this much cheese in our eggs...it’s kind of nice.”

“Just a bit of a splurge while she’s, um, taking a break.” Vanya decided, choosing her words carefully. “Five, can you flip the bacon? I don’t like mine too crispy.”

“You don’t?” Allison asked, turning to Vanya. “I didn’t know that.”

“Well, after a few years of making your own meals with your own groceries, you realize not everyone has the same tastes as dad.” Vanya mused, frying up the onions and mushrooms before adding the eggs. “Especially on a budget, the hardest choice I’ve ever made was between buying vegetables or just getting fast food.”

“ _ That’s _ your hardest choice? Please, try choosing between a pigeon and a rat,” Five teased - earning nauseous faces from the rest.

“...I mean, the rat is kind of the obvious choice.” Luther spoke up after a moment of silence, “Pigeon would be too bony.”

“Okay! Nope, I am stopping this!” Allison groaned, eyeing her brothers. “I am stopping this gross conversation before it goes off the rails. You’re not eating pigeon or rat anymore, you’re eating eggs.”

“And I have missed eggs,” Five mused as he set aside some of the softer pieces for Vanya while letting the others crisp up.

“Good, they’ll be ready soon,” Vanya hummed. “Can someone grab some plates?”

Five teleported over to the cupboards, grabbing the plates, teleporting to the table, and then back to the oven. “Luther can set them.”

They took the moment to process what had happened before Luther nodded slowly, setting the plates in their respective spots. Vanya soon finished up with the eggs, moving the pan over carefully and using her spatula to portion out the meals for each of them. Five jumped to his spot with the plate of bacon, snatching a few pieces before he set the plate down in the center.

Allison smiled at Vanya, taking a seat beside her. “Smells good, Van.”

“It’s kind of nice being able to go a bit overboard with ingredients, I might start stealing ingredients.” Vanya considered teasingly, earning a nervous look from Luther. “Joking, I’m joking.”

“I-I knew that,” Luther mumbled, blowing on the piece of eggs on his fork before shoving them in his mouth. “...These are really good, Vanya.”

“You can thank Mom, she taught me how to whip the eggs to perfection.” Vanya chuckled, looking around at her siblings to judge their reactions. Allison was clearly enjoying it, giving Vanya a pat on the back. Luther, despite his first attempt at being dainty, had ended up forgoing manners and shoveling his meal in his at a speed that made her wonder if he was chewing.

And Five? Well, Five made her worried.

Even in the body of a young boy that had been decently fed, his mannerisms were that of an old man who had to fight tooth and nail for survival, whose meals were scarce. He hovered over his meal, eyeing them with barely-disguised hostility, portioning out his food as if he’d need to save for the weeks ahead.

He would have needed to do that in the apocalypse. But here? Here, Vanya was going to make sure her brother finally got the support she hadn’t been able to give him in the last timeline, even if he tried to stab her for it.

“Speaking of food, I need to do some grocery shopping,” Vanya spoke up. “Five, are you okay with that?”

“It’s not like I have any  _ other important matters _ to attend to,” Five grumbled, Luther and Allison looking rather confused by the comment.

“Good,” Vanya chimed, ignoring his glares. 

The rest of the meal was small talk with the occasional banter, Luther even coming out of his shell enough to crack a few jokes. It made Vanya’s chest flutter in excitement that maybe, just maybe, she would be able to mend her family a bit faster than she had predicted. 

By the end of the meal, she did dishes with Allison and said goodbye to Luther (and Pogo, though it was more begrudging) while wishing Mom well. She and Five left out the front gates and she sent her plan into motion with a simple conversational starter.

“You know Five, you stand out wearing that uniform.” Vanya began, trying her best to sound nonchalant. “It might make you easier to find.”

Five, without missing a beat, shot her down. “I’m not going clothes shopping, Vanya, I don’t have time.”

“Five, there are blood stains all over your outfit and I’m pretty sure there are a few bullet holes in your jacket,” she scoffed. “Plus, I have a feeling that it smells. I’m not saying get rid of it, I can wash it, I just think you need some new clothes.”

He turned to her and narrowed his eyes, “Vanya, I trusted you enough to tell you about the apocalypse and you know how soon it’s coming. So now you’re insisting on having me waste time by going shopping and accompanying you around?! 

He shoved his hands in his pocket. “I knew it, I knew you didn’t believe me.”

Her eyes widened and she quickly reached out to him, only stopping at his sharp gaze. “Five, that’s not true, that’s not true at all...I’m just...you’re a  _ mess _ and I say that lovingly. You’re not sleeping, I doubt you’ve been eating properly, and you’re just throwing yourself at every lead without thinking!”

“I am thinking,” Five sniffed.

“No you’re not, you know why? Because you haven’t been with our family at all,” she snapped. “You’re looking for the cause of the apocalypse? Maybe talk to one of the superpowered children running in the same place, have you ever thought of that? No! You haven’t! You’re going around looking for the owner of an eye-”

Five looked suspicious, instinctively touching the object in his pocket. “You know about the eye? How do you know about the eye?!”

“I saw you Five, before you left my apartment.” She snapped, walking faster than the street as he tried to keep up with her. “The point is, what if you’re looking at one of the causes, what lit the fuse, and not the bomb?”

“And so what if I am?! It’s the only lead I have, Vanya!” He snarled, face twisted in confusion and anger. “There are people who want this apocalypse to happen, who will do anything to stop me and now they’re going after you! I don’t have time to relax, I have to fix  _ everything _ !”

She turned to him, eyes brimming with tears, “So why do you have to do it alone?!”

Five took a step back, adjusting his tea and coughing away his uneasiness at seeing his sister teary-eyed. Every single one of them hated Vanya crying and even more so when they were the reason she was crying. Five was no exception.

“Shit Vanya, don’t...don’t cry,” he muttered. “I’ll...I can talk to them, okay? When I get the chance.”

She looked at him, gaze oddly serious, “Promise?”

Five shuffled, lips pressed in a thin line before he finally conceded, “Promise.”

She smiled at him, slowing down so he didn’t have to race to keep up with her. “I know you’re under a lot of pressure, mostly from yourself, so...I may be ordinary, but I’m still willing to offer up my help, if you ever want it.”

Five chuckled, looking at her. “Yeah, okay, I’ll keep that in mind. Klaus didn’t work out too well.”

“I heard he punched you.”

“Yes, I’ll have to return the favor once the apocalypse is prevented,” he snorted. “Come on then, you’re in need of groceri-”

He was cut off as he walked right into a woman, snarling instinctively and pulling away. “Are you blind?! Watch where you’re going!”

“Five, don’t be rude,” Vanya chastised and turned to the woman. “I am so sorr- Helen? Helen Cho?”

The woman in question turned to them, violin case in hand and face wrinkling as she realized who she had run into. “Oh, it’s you.”

Five narrowed his eyes at Helen’s tone but Vanya forced herself to smile politely, “I-I haven’t seen you in awhile, how have you been? How has the orchestra been?”

“Better now that you aren’t in third chair hacking away at the violin,” she deadpanned. “Quitting eight days before our performance? Very mature, very professional.”

“And insulting people on the street is professional to you?” Five scoffed, eyeing Vanya and Helen.

“No Five, she’s right,” Vanya admitted quietly. “I shouldn’t have just up and quit like that, I just...there was a lot going on.”

“A lot going on? Or did you just throw a tantrum because you couldn’t get first chair, must less second,” Helen sneered. “Hopefully you’ll stay from music, you clearly don’t have the talent for it. Now if you’ll excuse me,  _ I _ have a rehearsal to get to.”

Five went to bark an insult at her but Vanya stopped him, tugging him by his jacket in the opposite direction. She faintly heard the creak of the street lights, knowing she needed something, anything, to get her mind off of this - lest she accidentally destroy the entirety of the street.

“Five, let it go,” she murmured.

Five narrowed his eyes, glancing back at Helen Cho and spitting on the sidewalk, before reluctantly following his sister away.

“...You quit the orchestra?” He asked after a moment of tense silence. “Is it because...because of what I told you?”

“Don’t blame yourself, Five, Helen is right.” She said quietly, keeping her gaze ahead. “I wasn’t adding anything to the performance, I didn’t have the talent.”

“Incorrect,” he snapped. “You were amazing when you played in the academy-”

Vanya cut him off, “In the academy, Five, not in the outside world. I quit because I wanted to, because I wasn’t adding anything there, I needed a change.”

Five didn’t sound convinced, “And Griddy’s is that change?”

“It is and I’m happy working there.”

Her tone carried an air of finality and Five dropped the subject, opting to walk into silence with her before he finally - and reluctantly - spoke up.

“You know, Vanya, this uniform is getting rather, er, foul.” He began, looking away. “Perhaps it is time to purchase new clothes.”

Vanya blinked in surprise but smiled, knowing what he was trying to do. “Well, I’m glad to hear that, there’s a store nearby we can stop at.”

Five grunted and Vanya smiled, squeezing his arm in a silent  _ thanks  _ before leading him off.

* * *

Klaus groaned as he fixed his hair, hurrying to the cafe. He had nearly forgotten about Leonard’s request for a coffee chat until the man had texted him last night amidst the chaos that was taking care of Vanya. Ben had opted to follow Vanya around, wishing Klaus luck on his date.

He looked through the window, giving a plastic smile when he saw Leonard looking back at him, before entering and taking a seat at the same table. “Sorry for the wait, Leo, things just got a little hectic at home.”

“Yeah, not a problem!” Leonard assured, giving the man a smile. “I wasn’t sure if I should get you something so I just decided to wait.”

“Ain’t that sweet of you,” Klaus hummed. “You, uh, you said you would cover this little cafe date, right? No take backsies.”

“Uh, yeah, yeah, no problem.” Leonard assured, reaching for his wallet. “Coffee?”

“And a muffin! Heated up!” Klaus requested, batting his eyelashes before rolling his eyes when Leonard turned around. Klaus watched him interact with the blonde cashier, well-mannered, and very polite.

Leonard was sweet but sickeningly so, to the point that it was suspicious. He had experience with people like this, a sweet exterior with an ulterior motive. But Leonard was paying and Klaus, broke as ever, was not going to skip out on an opportunity for a free meal.

Oh yeah, it was also suspicious that Leonard had multiple ghosts clinging to him, none of them eyeing the man kindly. Klaus wished he had his flask to make them disappear.

_ Y-You’re never gonna get sober! _ The memory of Vanya sobbing dulled the urge to drink.

Leonard soon returned with two cups of coffee, a muffin, and a scone. He set the muffin and the cup of coffee in front of Klaus, giving the other man a polite smile.

“Alright, now that you’ve paid for my meal, I’m going to quit beating around the bush.” Klaus began, sipping his coffee. “You don’t swing my way, I can tell by just talking and watching you. So since you’re not charmed by my devilishly good looks, I have no clue why you would invite me out.”

“Is wanting a friend not enough?” Leonard asked, raising a brow at Klaus and taking a sip of his coffee. 

“No, no, that does not cut it with me.” Klaus chuckled, “Because people don’t want to be friends with me, I don’t blame them! But you? You caught me at my worst. Talking to air and then tripping over a garbage can and yet, you still invited me out. You are, no offense, an incredibly okay person - you could easily make better friends.”

Leonard took a bite of his scone and then a sip of his coffee. “You know, you’re kind of a jerk when you talk about yourself.”

“It’s called trauma and it is not the focus of this conversation,” The Seance scoffed. “You’re after something so quit trying to tiptoe around the subject and just be out with it.”

“Klaus, is the idea that I’m reaching out to you really that awful?” Leonard mused, leaning forward. 

“Nope, nope, do not try and reach out to me,” Klaus snorted and got to his feet. “I am going to end this friendship here, okay? Well, I suppose it was more of an acquaintanceship than a friendship, but all good- mediocre things have to come to an end.”

Leonard winced, seeming a bit unsteady as he got to his feet. “Come on, you’re not giving me- us a chance! Kla-Klaus…”

And then he dropped. Like a sack of bricks, Klaus noted, barely able to process what was happening as Leonard suddenly began to seize up, body trembling violently.

“Oh-oh shit! Dude, you don’t- you don’t need to have a seizure because we’re not gonna be friends!” He cried, dropping down to try and steady the man. “Okay, oh shit! Someone call a damn ambulance already! Shit, shit, shit!”

Leonard’s eyes were bulging outwards and he convulsed painfully, frothing at the moment as he seized.

From behind the counter, the blonde barista ever-so-slightly smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gonna explain this one a little: i think klaus is one of those people who are rlly good at reading each other and lemme tell you, leonard's manipulation of vanya is Not Subtle at all lol i think the main reason she fell for it was a) she's kind of a wallflower with not-too-good social skills and b) she was very desperate for the attention and he took advantage of that
> 
> with klaus? i think he'd pick up on it (plus u know, the murdered ghosts chilling around leonard) and just be like imma take my free date food and scram
> 
> also....rat or pigeon?


	9. Exes and Woes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya struggles with balancing bonding with her siblings and hiding her secrets.

Shopping with Five was...an experience, Vanya decided, watching her brother curl up on the couch with a cup of hot coffee and a blanket around him.

It started off with little things like him saying hello to the mannequins on display or ducking down instinctively at every louder-than-average noise, things that made Vanya want to hold her brother close and promise him he wasn’t alone anymore.

Instead, she had gently touched his arm, distracting him by asking his opinion the various clothes she thought he might like - which was difficult. Most of the clothes his size were, well, for kids his  _ physical  _ age. It had taken some searching to find something that his mental self would like.

They eventually settled on sweater vests and jeans, fabric that allowed for mobility as well as comfort. It took everything for Vanya not to tease her brother for dressing like an old man, opting to bite her tongue as he looked in the mirror.

And then there was a bang.

It wasn’t anything serious, just an employee accidentally knocking over a rack of clothing. But to Five, it was enough of a reason for him to grab her wrist, panic in his eyes as he jumped them both outside of the building before she could pay for their clothing.

It took time to calm him down, promise it wasn’t anything serious, and they could only return when Five alone went back to make sure everything was okay. 

When they had gotten back to her apartment, he looked exhausted and she had practically fought tooth and nail for him to just accept a blanket. She had won, of course, once she managed to catch him yawning.

And, finally, finally, after a lot of squabbling (she’d have to apologize to her neighbors later), Vanya had finally gotten Five to lay down on the couch and fall asleep. She considered it a win and piled on the blankets when she noticed him shivering, finally heading to bed herself.

“I thought you didn’t like coffee,” Five’s voice interrupted her reminiscing.

Vanya chuckled as she poured herself a cup, “Yeah, when we were kids. You going out again today?”

Five hummed in thought, taking a sip. “I need to, the apocalypse isn’t going to stop itself and we have only...what? Four days left until it? I’m sorry Vanya but I can’t do this again, I need to figure out something and stop it.”

She moved towards him, taking a seat in the chair near the couch that he sat on. “You remember the promise you made me, right? You’re going to tell the others?”

He narrowed his eyes, “Yeah, I remember. If they’re together and there’s an opportunity, I’ll tell them but I’m not about to jump around trying to find everyone.”

She opened her mouth to respond only to tense up as a knock at the door sounded out, the two sharing a look. He gestured for her to stay back, much to her irritation, watching as he grabbed a knife from the counter and looked through the peephole.

He sighed in relief, opening up the door, “It’s just Luther and Allison.”

“Just?” Allison teased as she led Luther in. “Nice outfit.”

Five looked down at his vest and chuckled, “I feel like you might be mocking me but I will take the compliment anyway. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

He set the cup down and promptly teleported out, Vanya rolling her eyes. Of course he couldn’t be bothered to say goodbye.

“Wow, so glad he could make time for us,” Allison mused as she moved to Vanya and pulled her into a hug. “How are you doing? Is your head better?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she promised and glanced behind Allison at her brother. “I-It’s not that I don’t want you here, Luther, but, well...what are you doing here?”

Luther closed the door behind him, making the entirety of her apartment dwarf in size at how humongous he was. “We have some questions for you about the night we got invaded.”

“Oh?” Vanya was grateful that her voice didn’t shake, a lump sitting uncomfortably in her throat as she tried to maintain eye contact with her siblings. “Uh, yeah, ask away. Do you want some coffee?”

She nearly shook in relief when Allison piped up that she wouldn’t mind one, glad for an excuse to turn away from Luther’s stare. She took her time grabbing a mug and picked up the pot, wincing as Luther’s voice cut through the silence.

“What do you remember when they were carrying you down the hall?”

She pursed her lips, thinking over her words carefully before she turned to her siblings, handing Allison the mug. “Not much, if I’m being honest. I was on the verge of blacking out, they weren’t exactly gentle and...and…”

She trailed off, her shoulders trembling ever so slightly, touching the bandage on her head instinctively. “I’m sorry, I guess I’m not much help.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Allison murmured. “It’s just, Luther and I went back to look over the scene and it was, well, it was wrecked.”

“Wrecked?”

“The ceiling was blown out, the mirror was shattered, and the walls around are on the verge of caving in.” Luther explained, folding his arms. “You don’t remember anything?”

_ Shit _ , Vanya swore mentally but kept on her facade, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, I really can’t say I remember anything happening. I just got dropped all of a sudden, I don’t know why.”

Luther didn’t mask his disappointment, heaving a sigh. “Alright, tell one of us if you remember anything, okay? I need to head back to the academy, check the security footage.”

_ Shit, shit, shit _ . It took nearly all of Vanya’s willpower not to scream in irritation, her grip on her mug tightening. “You, uh, you don’t want to stay awhile?”

“No, sorry,” Luther didn’t look very sorry.

“Wait! I, uh, I wanted to check something at the academy as well. We can head back together, right?” Vanya tried not to sound too desperate but judging by the odd expressions on their faces, she knew she had failed.

Thankfully, Luther entertained her. “Fine, grab your stuff. I want to head out soon.”

Allison gave her brother a look, “Can you quit being such a killjoy? The security footage isn’t going anywhere and neither is the academy-”

Vanya bit back a bitter laugh at that.

“-Just sit down and relax, let her take her time.” 

“Thank you, Allison,” she said softly, giving her sister a genuine smile. Allison returned it.

Luther looked conflicted at that, shuffling in place before grunting. “Fine, but take too long and I’m going without you.”

Vanya mentally sighed in relief, nodding at her brother. “Right, right, you guys make yourselves at home while I grab some stuff.”

Allison nodded while Luther looked out the window, arms still crossed. Vanya grimaced, not wanting her brother to get that footage, and hurried to her room, grabbing her bag in case she found another journal of secrets.

She hurried out, tugging a coat on. “Alright, I’m good to go.”

“You forgot your pills,” Allison’s concerned voice stopped her before she could touch the doorknob. “That’s not like you, Vanya, you don’t forget things.”

She opened her mouth slightly, thinking as fast she could before turning to Allison with a plastic smile. She moved to the kitchen, grabbing the bottle off from the counter and shoving it in her coat pocket. “I’m sorry, guess I’m still a little rattled. Come on, we should get going.”

She hurried to the door, missing the concerned look that Allison gave Luther.

_ Okay, okay, think Vanya, think. They haven’t seen the footage yet, obviously, but you need to destroy it without them knowing it’s you but don’t go overboard, you can’t go overboard. If you go overboard then everything is going to be ruined again because of you- _

“Vanya?” She flinched at her name, turning to meet Allison’s worried expression. “We’re at the car.”

“The car? The car.” Vanya breathed, letting Allison guide her inside of the automobile. She couldn’t keep blaming her head injury for everything, but for now, she would let her siblings draw their own conclusions.

Luther sat in the back while she sat in the front seat next to Allison, who started the engines with a twist of her key. She could do this...right?

_ They’re going to find out, you’re just making yourself even more suspicious when they do, _ the voice warned.

Vanya pushed the voice away, turning to Luther and speaking quietly. “Have you talked to Pogo yet?”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Luther grunted, looking away.

Allison shot her a quizzical look and Vanya mouthed ‘later’ before turning to face straight in her seat once again, knowing Luther would just get mad if she tried to push again.

“So...working at Griddy’s, huh?” Allison asked, trying to break the tension. “When did that happen? I thought you were with the orchestra. I mean, you can do what you want of course but I’m just curious.”

“...Yeah, I just, I thought...I thought it might be a good change of pace for me,” she said quietly. “The orchestra was fine, nothing bad happened, I promise, I just needed change.”

Allison gave her a thoughtful nod, “I get it, wanting change that is. I just...are you still playing the violin? You were always so good at it.”

_ Wasn’t she the one who always told you to shut up when you tried to practice?  _ The voice sneered.

_ When we were kids. She’s trying to be better, I need to do the same.. _

Vanya’s smile was thin, “Thank you. I’ll probably play for fun from now on.”

_ There’s blood on her shirt. _

“Good, good, that’s good,” Allison said softly as they drove. 

_ Allison’s blood. _

She was grateful for when the academy came into view, practically leaping out of the car once Allison put it into park, only stopping to wait for her siblings. Luther took some time to get out, having to nearly push himself out without taking the car door with him.

He couldn’t meet her gaze once he got out, taking large strides towards the front door, ones that made Vanya have to practically jog after him in order to keep up.

“Can you slow down?” She panted, nearly tripping over the stairs as she and Allison followed him to the hall where finally could see the damage she had done.  _ Shit. _

The ceiling had been destroyed and the walls were bent outwards from the force of her power, a crater from where she had sent the woman flying in the wall across the hall. She shook her head, pushing her concerns about the damage away, and instead focused on the security camera that most likely captured her outburst - unfortunately, so had Luther.

_ Shit, shit, I can’t destroy it with him looking, I need a distraction- _

From the floor below, there was the sound of glass shattering.

_ That’ll do. _

Allison and Luther immediately went on high alert, both glancing back at Vanya in alarm before at each other, most likely debating who would stick with Vanya while the other investigated.

“Go, I’ll get the tape,” Vanya whispered. “I’ll be fine.”

They looked reluctant before Luther eventually hurried down, Allison hot on his trail. Vanya watched them go and turned to the camera, pushing one of the cabinets towards it and hopping on top, pulling out the tape.

She closed her eyes, focusing on the sound of footsteps and voices -  _ Allison, Luther, and _ \- she focused -  _ Klaus _ . She felt the power that came from the sound waves their voices emanated, threading it around the tape and  _ pushing _ into it.

She opened her eyes at the sound of plastic breaking, trying to ignore the mix of guilt and relief that she felt when she saw she had successfully crumpled it enough to be unwatchable. She knew it was wrong to lead her siblings on a wild goose chase, to blame problems on invisible enemies, but she chose to push down the guilt.

She wanted a new timeline and she was going to build it as best she could.

She stepped down from the cabinet, hurrying down the hall and down the staircase, finding Allison and Luther lecturing a rather buzzed Klaus.

“I deserve a drink after the date I just had,” he whined. “So I dropped one glass, big deal.”

“Big deal? You scared the shit out of us, we thought someone broke in,” Luther snapped. “Clean up the glass, we have better things to do than babysit you.”

“Guys,” Vanya’s voice caught their attention and she held up the tape. “Whoever it was that blew up the hall destroyed the tape.”

Luther smashed his fist into a nearby pillar in irritation, swearing violently in a way that caused her to recoil in fear. Klaus raised a brow at her but said nothing, sipping his drink.

“Calm down,” Allison growled, pinching the bridge of her nose. “We just...there’s really not much we can do now.”

“Oh! I know exactly what you can do! Have some drinks, relax, and come and listen to me vent about the worst time I had yesterday.” Klaus hummed, raising his drink in cheers. 

Vanya hummed in response, turning to meet Pogo’s gaze, narrowing her eyes as he gestured for her to follow him.

“I’ll be right back,” Vanya said, giving her siblings a (hopefully) reassuring smile before following the chimpanzee to the room over.

Pogo leaned on his cane, looking at her in concern. “Miss Vanya, how much do you know?”

“Cutting to the chase, of course,” she grunted and sighed. “I know...I know the truth about me, I know the truth about the pills, and I know about the anechoic chamber you have underground for me. I have the journal, Pogo, I’ll return it soon.”

“I’ll have to apologize to Master Klaus then, I assumed some things.” Pogo murmured and raised his chin. “You’re not going to tell the others?”

“No, not yet,” Vanya met his gaze. “You aren’t going to tell them? I’m surprised you haven’t told them. I’m not complaining.”

Pogo paused, opening his mouth to speak before closing it, adjusting his grip on his cane ever so slightly. “Miss Vanya, I have partaken in many things that I am not proud of and I have obeyed orders I did not agree with.”

She felt bitterness well up in her chest, she did not feel like dealing with Pogo’s regrets right now. “Do you have a point?”

“My  _ point  _ is that until you have shown yourself to be dangerous, in need of being stopped, I have no need to tell secrets that should remain secrets.”

She blinked in surprise, stepping back. “I-I- Thank you? I guess- I’m sorry, I-I wasn’t expecting that.”

Pogo gave her a small and sad smile.

“Vaaaannnyyyy~!” Klaus’ voice sang throughout the hall, catching their attention. Vanya shot Pogo a small but genuine smile, before hurrying off to find Klaus sprawled out dramatically on the couch with a drink in his hand.

Allison was in a chair, knees pulled to her chest, and a drink in her hands, swirling it in thought as she gave Vanya a smile. 

“Finally, you missed the story of my fifth- no, maybe, maybe sixth? Yeah, sixth worst date I’ve ever been on.” Klaus hummed, winking at her. “I know how you love to gossip.”

Vanya rolled her eyes, sitting down in a free chair and eyeing him. “And what was so bad about this date?”

“Well, it wasn’t a date per say, he wanted a friendly gathering and I wanted a muffin, our interests aligned.” Klaus admitted, waving his hand in a dismissive manner. “But long story short, he just collapsed, foamed at the mouth, it was very not-romantic.”

Her eyes widened, “Oh my God, is he okay?!”

“Well, I didn’t really stay with him, he just got loaded in the ambulance and they drove off, maybe he’s alive or maybe he kicked the bucket! Either way, I hope not to see him.” Klaus cackled, lifting his drink in celebration. 

“That’s not very nice,” Allison sniffed, eyeing him.

“Believe it or not, I am not always peaches and cream, sunshine.” Klaus purred, punctuating his words with a kiss. “Now what about you, sweet little Vanny? How’s the dating scene?”

Vanya, although grateful that Klaus had avoided asking Allison about her marriage (she could see the way her sister stiffened at his words), was not expecting her brother to ask that. It was odd, none of them were interested in her personal life, especially not this early in the timeline.

She choked out a laugh, suddenly finding herself very interested in picking a piece of skin on her fingers. “M-Me? Oh God, um, well...it’s just- I, um, I haven’t really been open to finding someone right now. There were some people in the past but-”

“Spill!” Allison chimed, eyeing her sister playfully.

“There’s nothing to spill, I just had some messy relationships like anyone else, nothing exciting!” Vanya assured, desperately trying to calm her beating heart. Why was she suddenly so freaked out?

_ You don’t have to worry. We’re a team now. _

Oh, that was why.

_ It’s not your fault. You were protecting yourself. But that’s not how they’ll see it. _

Sissy is gone but He isn’t. 

Allison is calling her name but Vanya can’t hear her.

_ I’m the only one on your side who understands... _

Allison is shaking her shoulders gently but Vanya still doesn’t respond.

_...just how special you truly are. _

“Vanya!” Allison’s cry finally snapped her out of it, Vanya looking up to see the concerned expression her sister wore. “Vanya, can you hear me?! Shit, Klaus get her some water.”

Vanya blinked away the white spots beginning to color her vision, her heart still beating violently in her chest. “I-I’m fine, I’m sorry...I just...I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, no need to be sorry. We all have our moments,” Klaus assured, voice surprisingly soft and kind. “Come on, drink up, let the fluids give you strength.”

“How did you make drinking water sound gross,” Vanya mumbled, taking a sip of water. “I’m sorry, I just, um, I wasn’t feeling good. I think I should go back to my apartment, I need some alone time.”

Allison grimaced, carefully moving a strand of hair from her sister’s face. “Vanya, I know you probably want to be alone right now but-”

“I’ll give you my number, text you every half hour until whoever is up for the next shift-”

“Diego volunteered!” Klaus chimed.

“Until Diego shows up, okay? If I don’t respond to your texts, you can break in and check if I’m kidnapped,” Vanya insisted. “Please Allison, it’s nothing personal, I just need space right now.”

“...Fine, but I’m driving you back and walking you to your apartment,” Allison insisted.

“Weren’t you just drinking?”

“It’s one drink, I can drive.”

Vanya opened her mouth to argue but one look from Allison stopped her, only exchanging a look with Klaus as she shakily got to her feet and hugged her brother.

“See you later, Klaus,” she mumbled.

Klaus paused and returned the hug, voice low. “Whatever happened was...look, I’m good at siblings stuff, or brother stuff, but uh...just remember you can sorta count on me, most of the time I guess.”

She giggled, pulling away from the hug and squeezing his shoulders. “Thank you Klaus, that means a lot.”

She gave him one last smile before following Allison out of the room, moving around the still-fallen chandelier and outside the academy. She moved around the car and entered the passenger seat, biting her lip as Allison started the car.

“Thank you for driving me,” Vanya spoke up after a few beats of silence. “It was sudden and I’m not trying to turn you into my chauffeur or anything.”

“Hey, relax, I totally get it.” Allison assured, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. “Do...do you want to talk about what happened back there?”

“Um, it’s...it’s a lot of baggage.” Vanya warned, staring out the window with her hand on her cheek.

“I mean, we all have baggage, you know? Besides, what are sisters for if not for unloading baggage on each other.” It was an attempt at a joke but Vanya couldn’t find it in herself to appreciate it.

“...There was a guy,” she began quietly. “And he made me feel special, he made me feel loved, and he told me everything that I wanted to hear. I ate it up, of course. I mean, when you spend your whole life believing you’re not worth any attention, not worth love. What do you do when someone comes in and shows you with attention, gifts, and praise?”

Allison is quiet and Vanya appreciates the silence.

“The signs were all there, you know. He poked at my insecurities about the academy, about you all, how I was excluded from  _ everything _ .” Her lips curled into a snarl, tears threatening to spill. “He told me he was the only one who understood and he told me I was  _ special _ .”

Allison looked over at her, eyes wide, “Oh Vanya…”

“And in the end? It was never about me! It could never be about me,” she laughed bitterly, the sound hollow. “He didn’t love me, he wanted me to get to all of you. He had some sick obsession with the academy and he was using me to get you all.”

The car had parked in front of her apartment complex and Allison was now staring at Vanya, a mix of sorrow and anger in her eyes. “Shit Vanya, I’m...I’m so sorry, I had no idea-”

“I didn’t tell anyone, I dealt with it.” She cut off her sister, shaking her head. “Thank you for driving me, Allison.”

Vanya moved to open the door, flinching as Allison touched the arm closer to her.

“Van...I’m sorry that happened to you. I know it doesn’t mean much, I guess, but...I’m here now, okay? Anytime you want to talk, I’m willing to listen.”

Vanya inhaled and smiled, “...I’m willing to listen too, you know, if you need it.”

The sisters shared a gentle look before Vanya pulled away, saying one last goodbye and insisting she didn’t need to be walked up the stairs to her apartment. She turned back and waved Allison goodbye before pushing open the complex doors and disappearing inside.

Her legs protested as she practically flung herself up the stairs, desperate to find some reprieve in a familiar non-trauma-filled location, jamming her key into the lock and opening the door. She threw her bag onto a nearby chair and closed the door behind her, heaving a sigh as she pressed her back against the door and fell to the floor.

“...That could have gone better,” she mumbled and winced as the lightbulb in a nearby lamp exploded. “I really need to get that under control.”

She grunted as she pushed herself back to her feet, opening the door to her room and reaching under her mattress, pulling out the familiar red leather-bound journal. She sat on the bed, opening her nightstand drawer to pull out her own cheaper journal.

She needed a distraction, a goal she could work towards, and the journal was offering the escape she needed.

She had gone slowly at first, going through her father’s theories on each of their powers and making notes in her own journal on what she had seen her siblings do. She hated it but the sense of progression excited her, knowing that she could possibly guide her family to be stronger than they were right now.

Part of her worried she was turning into her father, the other assured her she wasn’t going to do anything they didn’t want.

She flipped through the pages of the journal, opting to move onto a new section of the journal, having already hacked away at previous pages for the past few days. She rested her fingers on the beginning words of the page before the room chilled as she began to read.

_ Isolation of Number Seven has so far been successful, the other children have not yet pushed back against orders. They are young and easy to mold, I have taken great care to ensure both Number Seven and the others are convinced she is ordinary.  _

_ I have discouraged any attempt for them to include her and have taken great care to ensure the others believe she is below them. It is surprisingly easy how fast they took to this mentality. _

_ If the medication and Number Three’s rumor do not hold, the Umbrella Academy must be ready to do whatever it takes to prevent the apocalypse. That is its true purpose and will continue to be. _

Her hands are trembling and she can feel her hair whipping around, white spots decorating the edges of her vision. Every bit of control she once felt she had slipped out from her fingertips, lost by a few sentences on a page.

“He...he did it on purpose…” She whispered. “Every little remark, every push away...he did that?”

_ The Umbrella Academy must be ready to do whatever it takes to prevent the apocalypse. _

To  _ stop  _ her. To  _ kill  _ her.

Everything is loud, unbearably loud, and her own heartbeat is threatening to deafen her with how  _ loud  _ it is. She can feel her power pushing itself around, rattling the nightstand and lamp, the curtains of her windows billowing as she tried desperately to stop everything from going too far, to stop herself from going too far-

And then there’s a knock at the door and she can’t-she  _ can’t  _ deal with anyone right now, not now, not right now. She’s losing control and she doesn’t know how to stop.

There comes another series of knocks, each more deafening than the last, and she fights the urge to scream out for whoever it was to  _ leave her alone _ .

But the knocking won’t stop and she knows whoever it is knows she’s inside, hiding from them, and Vanya grimaced. They weren’t going to leave until she answered.

It was probably Mrs. Kowalski, she never did learn when to take a hint.

Reluctantly, she tucked the journal back under her mattress and pushed herself to her feet, holding herself as she edged towards the door like a frightened animal (she sure felt like one). She inhaled, turning the doorknob while speaking with unmasked frustration:

“He’s not here, Mrs. Kowalski! Mr. Puddles isn’t-” She stopped abruptly as she saw who was there.

“Hey Vanya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vanya has trauma and i just want comfort for her dang it :( too bad this fic is just me aiming an angst gun at her 24/7  
> also let five wear something other than his academy uniform please


	10. Boxes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya confronts ghosts of the past.

_ “Do you love me?” _

_ Vanya hadn’t meant to sound so pitiful but she couldn’t help it, there was a deep ball of fear growing in her, growing more and more intense until she couldn’t ignore it. Everything she had felt had become more and more intense, in ways both amazing and terrifying. _

_ She had Leonard to thank for that. He was the one who suggested going off the pills, the one who made her feel confident enough to do so. He had done so much for her and yet...and yet a tiny voice rang in her mind that she was just ordinary, that this would just fade, and she would be alone again. _

_ Leonard looked at her, the two curled together on the couch with Vanya propped on top of his chest, ear listening to his heartbeat while he ran his fingers through her hair. She loved the attention, ate it up out of his hand, because after years of being isolated and alone, physical affection was something she never realized she desperately wanted. _

_ “I mean...was last night not enough proof?” He teased, eyes twinkling at the blush on her face. “You were-” _

**_Too eager? Too much? A burden?_ **

_ “-Amazing.” _

_ Vanya blushed wildly at the praise and nuzzled him, fingers drawing circles on his chest. “I just got excited, first chair and all and-and I guess I...I wanted to celebrate.” _

_ “Quite the celebration,” he mused and cupped her cheek, eyes narrowing in amusement as she leaned into the touch hungrily. “Yeah, I love you. I love you a lot, Vanya.” _

**_Even though I’m needy? Even though I’m too quiet? Even though I’m bitter? Even though I’m ordinary?_ **

_ “Despite everything?” Was what she managed to say, looking in his eyes for something that would prove her right, that would prove he would leave her like everyone else. She couldn’t help but feel lighter when he gazed back at her with a determined look, a look focused on her and no one else. _

_ He tucked a stray hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead, the action making Vanya curl further into him. _

_ “Despite everything.” _

* * *

Harold was special. He was and he knew it, despite what everyone had said. Despite what Hargreeves said, despite what his father said.

Harold Jenkins was special, that’s why he was alive again.

It had been sudden, of course, to suddenly and painfully get the memories of being stabbed while having coffee. He was still bitter, of course, that the wretched Seance had rebuffed him when Harold had every beat perfectly. What had gone wrong?

Other than, as mentioned before, very suddenly having painful memories of being turned into a human pincushion.

He had been lucky of course, a seizure wasn’t fatal unless one went too long without breathing or injured themselves during it. He had been very lucky that by the time the ambulance had arrived, he had blacked out entirely from the stress of the ordeal.

He had touched on the idea that it had been a hallucination, perhaps he had been drugged by his companion. He had scrapped the idea entirely, there had been no opportunity for Klaus to slip something into his drink, especially not subtly.

The memories were too real, too painful, and he could  _ feel the blades sinking into his skin- _

He paused, pushing away the bloody memories as he realized how strangely quiet everything was. The monitor for his heartbeat had gone quiet and when he turned to look at it, he realized that the screen had frozen. He turned to the blinds, steadily getting to his feet, and peered through them, breath hitching as he realized that everything and everyone had stopped in place.

Frozen in time.

“You took your sweet time.”

He whipped around, breath hitching as saw a woman sitting on his bed, a woman who had most certainly not been there moments again. She hummed to herself, legs dangling off the bedside as she opened up some strange cylinder and slipped a note in it.

“You know, I’m very disappointed in some of our agents.” She huffed, lips pursed as she placed the cylinder into her purse. “They throw the empty canisters into the  _ garbage  _ of all places, don’t they care about the environment?”

Harold began to reach for something, anything, to defend himself. “Who the hell are you?!”

“Can we skip this part? I find it rather irritating,” she sighed, tucking her hands in her lap. “But if you must insist, I’m the one whose giving you another chance.”

“Another- What the hell is going on?!” He snarled, pressing himself against the wall. “The-the people- everyone- everything is frozen! Is this...is this a dream?”

The woman wrinkled her nose at him, as if he said a rather tasteless joke. “I’ve forgotten how annoying this part is, it’s been a while since I’ve had to pluck someone out of the timeline. Though, this little time freeze should keep  _ fucking Herb _ and his little posse rattled. Serves them right, you know, these little incidents can take up to a month to fix. I can’t help but make it difficult for them, it’s what they  _ deserve  _ after all.”

Harold stared hard at her, unsure what to focus on her little rant, instead shaking his head. “You...you...why are you here?”

“You are a slow one aren’t you? Perhaps my standards have grown too high over the years,” she sighed. “Harold Jenkins, I’ve come to give you a proposition. You don’t need to ask why, I’m sure you already know it.”

_ I’m special. _

“You’re special,” she echoed his thoughts. “Now, I’m sure you didn’t enjoy having your memories return so suddenly, no one really does after all. The serum makes it so sudden, so frightening, they must simply find a better way of handling all that. Unfortunately, what’s done is done,”

“Memories…?” He repeated, furrowing his brow. “No, no, if those were memories then I was-”

“Killed?” The woman had taken out a compact mirror, using her finger to rub away a bit of her smeared lipstick. “Yes, yes you were, but fortunately for you, there was a bit of a glitch so to speak in the time space continuum. You’ve been given another chance at living, how exciting.”

Despite her words, her tone lacked any real excitement.

Harold stared back at her, desperately trying to process her words. It explained his memory, of course, but just because something could be explained didn’t mean it could be comprehended. 

If the woman took notice of his stunned state, she certainly didn’t care. “It’s a shame though, you know, that the apocalypse will burn you to a crisp. Though, we could make a deal, prevent all that.”

“The...the apocalypse…?”

“Yes, the apocalypse.  _ Fucking Herb _ can play nice with the emotionally-stunted brats all he wants, I have no intention of doing such things, especially after what that baby-faced little runt did to me.” She snarled the world, snapping her compact mirror closed. “Honestly, this is the part you shouldn’t be so confused about. You saw it, didn’t you? Perhaps not in body, but in spirit.”

Harold’s eyes practically bulged from his skull at her words, breathing growing ragged. He hadn’t known why he kept flickering to  _ her  _ of all people when he got cold feet about going into the light, he had been hoping he could escape someone else.

(He didn’t know but Klaus did. Klaus, despite his fear of ghouls and ghosts, knew their habits - it was how he avoided the wrong dealers for the most part.

“There’s a very sensual bond between victim and killer,” Klaus had hummed once. “It’s a very personal ordeal, you know, being murdered that is.”)

“It’s going to happen and I’m going to watch as that  _ smug-faced little rat _ is burnt to a crisp, finally realizing that I always win.” She sneered, a cruel smile twisting on her face. “I’m sure you don’t want to be part of that, do you?”

Harold’s mouth had gone dry and he simply shook his head, staring at her.

“Good! Good! Now, unfortunately, the apocalypse will happen anyways. It always will.” She began, watching his face as he desperately tried to comprehend what she was saying. “But you? You’re  _ special _ , Harold, and you know it.”

He does.

“That’s why I’ve frozen time! I’ve done it all for you, because you are the key.” Her voice was hypnotic and Harold couldn’t help but get lost in her words. “You could live anywhere you want, anytime you wanted, and you never would have to worry about money or peace or that wretched Umbrella Academy ruining your day.”

He wanted that.

“The Umbrella Academy will burn by your hand, a fitting punishment if you ask me.”

_ He wanted that. _

“But that’s only if you do me a very big favor,” she continued, meeting his gaze. “I’m sure you realized now that for the apocalypse to happen, for you to be happy, the fuse must be lit. The fuse to the bomb that is.”

Oh, there was the catch. There was always a catch, wasn’t there?

“My agents are, well, they’ve been reset and I’m afraid it’s important to keep them at arm's length for now.” The woman sighed. “They don’t have the knowledge, the experience with the bomb that you have. You’re a key player,  _ Leonard _ , I need that.”

Harold grimaced, folding his arms. “There’s no need for flattery anymore, you know. I don’t entirely get everything you’re saying but I get enough. I either accept or die, that’s the deal, isn’t it?”

“Cutting the fat! Oh, aren’t you a fun one,” she purred. “Yes, yes, it is. Now I suppose if you prove to be, well, less-than-special then the mission itself could end poorly. I mean...the bomb did kill you once.”

The bomb. That’s what she kept calling Vanya. It was dehumanizing in many ways but his sympathy for the mousy woman had run dry long ago.

“Oh! One last eeny-meeny-miny-teensy-tansy little nugget you should know. It’s really nothing, just a small little detail, I promise.” She cooed, giving him a painfully plastic smile. “You see, the bomb, much like you, remembers.”

Harold paused, furrowing his brows as he thought over her words. “She remembers...t-then I can’t get close to her! This is a fucking suicide mission either way!”

“Language,” the woman scolded. “Harold, listen to me, you are special and someone special can always find a way around these little problems.”

“Little!?” He scoffed, eyes wide. “The moment she sees me, I’m as good as dead.”

The woman inspected her nails, seeming to grow tired of their argument. “Well then, I suppose you’re dead either way. I mean, with one option, you have a chance at survival.”

Harold went quiet, mulling over her words, and squeezing his eyes shut. He had no choice, despite the illusion of one. “But...but how…?”

“How? You know the bomb better than anyone, you’ve seen more of her than her family.” The woman pressed. “You’re creative, aren’t you? You controlled her once, maybe without realizing it, you can do it again.”

He had, in many ways, learned to control Vanya. It wasn’t exactly difficult, she had been eating out of his hand the moment he had laid on the kindness. She was so starved for affection, he had begun to pity her and it only solidified his resolve to destroy the Academy. His heroes had let him down, both of them down, in so many ways.

But then to ask questions, questions she wasn’t ready for. She was supposed to break down, she was supposed to realize that was nothing without him, that he made her special. But then she turned on him.

For some reason, it never occurred to him that she might possibly turn on him.

He inhaled sharply and looked at the woman, “Before I agree to anything...I want to see her. I need…”

_ I need proof. _

The woman smiled wolfishly, “Oh my, jumping straight to her? I love the reckless nature of youth today. I suppose I should stop this freezing of time, the brat might be able to find me. Last thing I need is to trigger his memory, the advantage is oh-so sweet.”

Harold barely took note of her malicious ramblings, only watching in disbelief as the world around him clicked back into motion. His attention was captured once more as nurses hurried past him and when he turned back, the woman was gone.

Part of him wanted to believe it was a hallucination, induced from something, anything. The other half approached the bed and picked up a piece of paper with flowery handwriting scribbled across it and read:

_ Go and get your proof. Consider it a test, proof that you deserve to survive the apocalypse. If you live, you and I will be getting much better acquainted. _

_ XOXO _

_ -The Handler _

He stared at the note and grimaced. The thing was, Harold did not want to die, especially not from a flurry of knives or being burnt up from whatever the hell Vanya had done last time. This woman, the Handler as she called herself, had presented the idea that he’d die either way. The problem was, if the bomb remembered, then there was a chance he could live.

But Harold Jenkins was not a reasonable man. He was a child who was twisted and bitter and angry and desperate to hurt the people he deemed responsible. The Umbrella Academy had hurt him, Vanya had hurt him. It was about time they started to hurt as well.

It didn’t take long to gather his things and sign the voluntary release form, hurrying out of the hospital and to get answers to the questions he had.

* * *

Vanya’s powers, as described by the journal and by her own self-discovery, were influenced by her emotions. It hadn’t been news to her, of course, Leonard had broken the news to her before, well...everything. With her timeline and the advantage of having her memories, Vanya had tried to begin her attempt at training the best way she knew how: notes.

(Emotions are fickle and complex things, far too complicated to simplify as she did. Vanya knew that, but she needed some sort of guideline to help with her powers. The sooner the better.)

Happiness was warm wind that danced around her, lifting up her hair. It was levitating objects in whimsical ways, reminiscent of the animated movies they watched in secret. It was lifting herself off the ground in ways she thought were impossible

Sadness was heavy rain even on days that were supposed to be clear, no thunder, just rain. It was making a dome around herself, desperate to keep everyone out so she could wallow in her misery.

Anger was destruction, cracks in the wall, and exploding lightbulbs, it was when her power was at its most frightening and she had trouble reeling in the bits of power that practically jumped from her fingertips.

And fear? Fear was complicated. It was trembling pots and pans but never destruction (not unless she grew  _ angry _ ), it was falling deep into a dark hole that she needed to stay out of. It was a precursor to her other emotions, the emotions that would allow her to escape fear.

Fear was being powerless and Vanya couldn’t help but find that funny in the worst ways.

It was fitting then, that the moment she needed to feel something else, anything, all she could do was stare with open horror at the man in her doorway.

“Hey Vanya.”

She could see her curtains began to tremble, the pots and pans in her kitchen sink clanging together ever so slightly as she clenched her fist and tried to regain just a sliver of control.

She looked away and shook her head, “No, no, you have the wrong house, there’s no Vanya here-”

“You don’t have to pretend. I know.”

She had to have heard that wrong, she had to because she couldn’t accept that  _ Leonard Peabody _ -

_ Harold _ , the voice hissed.

-was there, claiming that he knew. He couldn’t know, there wasn’t any conceivable way that someone like Leonard, instead of Five, instead of anyone she needed, would remember what had happened.

“I don’t…” Her voice had dropped to a whisper and she tensed up as he pushed the door open, the frozen woman barely a blockade. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You must have the wrong address.”

The man had invited himself in, Vanya backing up in terror as he moved to close the door, keeping it open just a crack. The illusion of privacy without the fumbling of doorknobs if escape was necessary.

He smiled at her and she tried to find the cruel twisted edges that everyone but her had seen, but she couldn’t. “Vanya, it’s okay, I’m not mad.”

She froze at that, fingers curling into a fist, fingernails digging into the skin of her palm. “I’m the one who deserves to be angry.”

“So you do remember,” he chuckled, the sound splashing a new wave of icy cold fear over her. “Well, you certainly showed me, didn’t you? Remembering was very painful, I didn’t think phantom pains could be so, well, vivid.”

_ He’s just ordinary, I could kill him right now. I could focus on his heartbeat and stop it right here and now _ . The thoughts raced through Vanya’s head and despite every bit of power she had, one powerless man had rendered it all obsolete.

“Why are you here?” She whispered, feeling like a caged animal in her own home. “I killed you, I could do it again.”

Leonard looked past her, gaze centering on her relatively full pill bottle. “You could but you shouldn’t, I haven’t done anything yet but stop by and say hello to- what are we anyways? Exes? We certainly ended things badly. Well, you did.”

She gulped, trying to channel anger or sadness or any emotion in between that would allow her to escape her state of powerlessness. But every time she looked at him, all she could think of was someone she thought loved her, of someone who had seen parts of her she kept private, a man who had been breaking her down like her father once tried to but this time had managed to start the process of building her back up.

It scared her how easy she had fallen for it, how she brushed off every red flag in a desperate attempt to try and keep what she thought had been love.

Sadness. Outside it had begun to rain and she clung onto the feeling, the dishes rattling louder as she stared at him.

“If you remember everything, why would you come here?” She asked, acutely aware of the way her legs felt like they would give out at any moment. “I killed you, I’m your killer.”

“Maybe I wanted to see you again, try and build what we had from scratch.”

“There’s no building from scratch, there’s only rubble,” she said, her voice trembling. “You’re lying to me again, you’re just here to lie.”

She sounds like a child but Vanya can’t bring herself to care, she’s too scared and hurt to care.

“I didn’t lie back then, not outright,” Leonard soothed. “Everything I said was true, you know, even when I told you I loved you. I did care for you, Vanya.”

She narrowed her eyes, “You made me feel like I was nothing with you.”

Leonard gave her a sad smile, “Oh Vanya-”

He reached out to her and she froze, terror seeping into her bones.

(There were times she wondered why her siblings, extraordinary as they were, never fought back against her father. He didn’t have powers, they did, so why not use them?

She stopped asking herself that long ago.)

“Were you anything without me?”

The plates in her sink shattered at his words and he pulled his hand away in alarm. He looked at her, connecting the dots, and narrowed his eyes. The pill bottle had been the start of his suspicions but now? Now he knew she had gone off them (a risky move, he noted) and had access to her powers.

He took one last look at her, a crumpled face that was still reeling from his harsh words.  _ Good _ , he sneered in his mind, not hesitating to race out the door and leaving Vanya to crumple to the floor.

Emotions are complicated, they tore through a person like lightning or swallowed one up like an endless ocean. She had tried so hard to place herself in boxes, to make sense of the power that was threatening to consume her, and in the end, she couldn’t.

Fear and anger and sadness swallowed her whole, unrestrained by the boxes she tried to put them in, and she felt herself begin to slip out of control.

* * *

Diego, in all honesty, had not been psyched when it came to babysitting his ordinary sister. Yes, it had been his idea but he had more important things to do, even Luther, might Number One, could spare more time than Diego could.

So, he had not been thrilled when he had been with Patch and Allison had called his cellphone. He had been even less thrilled when asking how she got his number, she simply said Pogo, and Diego wanted to snap that  _ damn it Pogo, who gave you the right to give out that information _ .

“Please Diego, she hasn’t texted me like she promised she would.” Allison had pleaded, “My lawyer called and I really need to have this conversation. Please.”

And Diego, ever the better leader, had relented because he knew it was the right thing to do - and the fact that Allison had said she could ask Luther if Diego wasn’t up for it. He was not about to let Luther go in and steal the spotlight, not when Diego was the rightful leader of the team.

He groaned, hanging up the phone. “Shit, I gotta play nanny to my sister.”

Eudora eyed him, “You act like that’s the worst thing you could be doing.”

He got to his feet and grimaced, turning back to her. “If you met her, you’d get it.”

Then he turned away, unable to help but feel upset whenever he looked at Eudora for too long. It wasn’t anger or bitterness, but grief and guilt that shook him to the core. The worst part, as many of his siblings knew, was that he had no clue how to handle his emotions. Often called emotionally stunted, Diego never felt more like that when he looked at Patch.

He pushed away his feelings as he approached his car, giving one last nonchalant wave to Patch before disappearing inside and planting himself in the driver’s seat. He didn’t have time to care about his feelings for Patch, he had to go play babysitter to his rotten little sister.

Diego wasn’t like his siblings when it came to Vanya and he never felt he had to be, he certainly didn’t understand why they played nice with her. He wasn’t Luther who played nice and insisted Vanya was still part of the team in some ways because she  _ wasn’t _ .

He wasn’t Allison who would rumor Vanya into silence before sprouting crocodile tears when dad caught her and made her undo it.

He wasn’t Klaus who liked to pretend he and Vanya were close when he knew nothing about his sister. 

He wasn’t Five who, back then, only hung out with Seven simply as an act of rebellion against Reginald.

And he certainly wasn’t the same boy who had once hung out with her during a period after Ben’s death, the two stewing in rebellion and teenage angst. He wasn’t the same boy who had once stayed up all night with her writing song lyrics for when they ran away and started Prime 8’s (when they would become rich and famous and dad would be  _ begging  _ for their attention). 

No, he was Number Two, Diego, and he was honest. She didn’t have powers and she could barely keep up with them, even as adults. She was ordinary in every way, of course he didn’t bother wasting his time with her. He had criminals to fight, justice to bring, that’s what made him special.

So no, he was not excited to hang out with dingy Number Seven who had written things that were  _ supposed  _ to be private. They were all bitter and angry, what gave her the right to profit from it? What gave her the right to play the victim when all she had to do was sit on her ass throughout her childhood?

“Are you kidding me?” He hissed as rain began to batter his windshield, flipping on his window wipers. It was supposed to be clear today, damn it. “This day just keeps getting shittier.”

He pulled up in front of the apartment complex, resisting the urge to scoff at how shoddy it was (He also ignored a tiny pang of worry for Vanya because the area she lived in wasn’t quite the nicest). He pushed open the doors and went up the stairs, opting to avoid going through the window so he could just knock on her door, check if she was alive, and then finally leave.

Allison was probably just overreacting...right?

His eyes caught sight of her apartment door opened slightly, flashes of light dancing through the crack and out in the hallways, and Diego  _ ran _ . He ripped the door open, eyes wide as he looked around widely as the curtains danced and the lights flickered on and off, rain smashing against the windows as if it were trying to break in.

And there was his sister, crumpled to the floor weeping.

Diego hated when she cried, not for some touchy-feely reason, just that Vanya was a disgusting crier. She was snotty and hiccuped and often stammered through her words instead of just waiting to breathe or calm down so something of use would come out of her mouth. Frankly, he wasn’t surprised that the rest of his siblings would steer clear of her when she had tears in her eyes (and no he was most certainly not guilty when he’d hear her cry in her room after a particularly cruel comment from their father and simply kept walking).

He moved closer, the hair on his arms standing on end as he reached out. “Vanya? Vanya, what’s wrong?”

She stiffened at his voice and curled further in on herself, hands covering her eyes.

He rolled his eyes, bending down in front of her. “You can throw your pity party later, okay? Can you tell me what the hell happened here? Was it the bad guys?”

She didn’t respond and he felt his frustration grow.

“Vanya, can you just-” He had gone to grab her wrist, force her to look at him-

“ _ Don’t touch me! _ ”

-And he was sent flying back, smashing it into the door and slamming it shut with the force. He stared ahead, eyes wide as she removed her hands and revealed, much to his dismay:

The dark brown of her eyes were gone, replaced by rings of light that accentuated her dark pupils. The sight made his stomach tighten uncomfortably, his brain desperately trying to process what the hell he was seeing.

“Vanya...what the hell is going on…?” He whispered, the two staring at one another. The thing was, Diego was a detective and a talented one at that, his attitude was really the problem. So, as the talented detective he was, it didn’t long for him to put together the pieces.

Vanya opened her mouth to answer and Diego could see her trying to string together an answer, almost as if she didn’t know herself. He furrowed his brow as she simply shook her head, a crack in the wall catching his attention.

“You-you have to ground me,” she insisted, voice wavering. 

“Like...when we were kids?”

She paused, staring at him and he realized, his cheeks turning slightly red, that he misinterpreted her words. “Oh, oh, like, uh, like ground as in...what?”

“I-I don’t know!” She cried, hands curling into balls at the side of her head. “I-I haven’t figured out how to stop this when things get so bad! I either destroy the place or run out of energy or-or- I don’t know!”

“Okay, okay, just calm down-”

“I’m  _ trying _ !”

“Should...should I hit you?” He asked, watching as her gaze snapped to him and twisted with anger and shock. “Okay, okay, I won’t hit you! It’s just an option!”

His eyes glanced over to see that the cracks had stopped and the curtains, while still moving, weren’t whipping around as violently. Diego, ever the detective, began to string together a plan and prayed that it would be something.

“Vanya...Vanya, listen to me,” he began. “Do you...do you remember Prime 8’s?”

She stared at him, confusion in her eyes as she tried to figure out his game. “I, yeah, I remember, I’m surprised you do.”

“Yeah, yeah, just listen to me and just focus on me, okay?” He pleaded, surprised at how soft his voice had become. “We were gonna get a bunch of gigs and become super famous, remember?”

“We were terrible,” she giggled, wiping away a tear. “What was that song we wrote called? I don’t want to die?”

“So close, I Don’t Want to Kill the President,” he chuckled as he began to edge closer to her. “When we wrote those lyrics, we thought we had something.”

“We did have something, I just wasn’t anything very good.” She laughed wetly and Diego sighed in relief when her light-rimmed eyes returned back to their original brown color.

“Okay, you, uh, you good now?” Diego asked, having shuffled closer to Vanya now, though not too close.

She nodded, rubbing her eyes, “Yeah.”

Diego paused before gesturing to around him, “You...have powers?”

“Yeah.”

“How long have you known?”

Vanya paused, taking a moment to think over the question before shrugging. “Since dad’s funeral.”

“Oh,” Diego pressed his lips into a thin line. “Can we...can we talk about them?”

Vanya sighed, eyeing her brother before nodding. “Might as well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man this one took time to write solely because of the convo between harold and the handler, i just sort of struggled with the scene and then said screw it so what's there is there! And then i struggled with the vanya and harold scene!! i just struggled lol but hey this chapter is DONE


	11. Chit Chat: The Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot to talk about.

Vanya couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as Diego offered a hand, her legs trembling like a newborn deer's. She leaned into him slightly, letting him guide her to a chair before sitting her down. It was embarrassing to be seen at her most vulnerable, even though she knew it wasn’t as big of a deal as her brother finding out that she had powers.

Ordinary Number Seven had powers, even after two months and a week of realization with the concept, she still couldn’t seem to fully grasp the idea - she couldn’t imagine how Diego was handling the news.

“So...what are they?” Diego began, his voice oddly high. “Your powers I mean.”

Vanya paused, pressing her lips into a thin line. She had been struggling with that part herself, they almost seemed limitless: revival, matter manipulation,  _ flying  _ \- the list went on.

She opted to go for a more basic explanation: “Sound manipulation is the basic of it, I guess.”

“Sound manipulation?” He didn’t quite seem to grasp the concept, she realized. “Vanya, you were  _ glowing _ .”

“I do that when I use my powers, apparently.”

He raised a brow and she couldn’t help but admire how calm he was, though inside she knew he had to be stewing about it. It was a lot to handle after all.

“And why...just why?” He stammered, forehead creasing as he stared off in thought. “If you had- have powers, why wouldn’t dad train you? Why make us all think you’re ordinary?”

He turned to her, “How did you find out? Why would your powers start now of all times?”

Vanya couldn’t help but flick her gaze away, doing her best not to flinch as Diego’s gaze hardened. She wordlessly got to her feet, using a hand to keep him at bay as she swayed slightly, using her furniture and then the wall to guide her to her bedroom. 

She reached under her mattress and pulled out the familiar red journal, touching the cover thoughtfully. Part of her had considered lying altogether while the other half was tired of lying altogether, perhaps a big truth with a few lies to help it go down easier.

She held the journal in one hand, guiding herself back to where Diego waited and handed him the journal.

“This is...this is dad’s…” He mumbled, opening the cover. “You stole from dad? You?”

Vanya glared at him and he shrugged, looking over the pages and swearing under his breath. She couldn’t blame him, some of the secrets Reginald kept were rather hard to digest, not to mention the rather callous attitude he had towards his children that oozed whenever he took notes on their training.

He flipped through the pages and she could see he had gone straight to his own notes, resisting the urge to scoff at his priorities before pushing down her bitterness when his face scrunched up in anger.

“An insolent brat?! Predictably reckless?!?” He hissed under his breath, his hands shaking. Vanya resisted the urge to reach over and touch his arm in comfort, she knew he wouldn’t react well to the action.

“Focus,” she said instead. 

He glanced at her, irritation in his eyes as he reluctantly flipped through the journal until he found the beginning of her section. She was quiet as his expression twisted from irritation to curiosity to horror, eyes nervously glancing from the page to her.

“...Fuck,” he finally said after a while of silence. “I mean...hell, I don’t know what to say. You...you killed people over...over oatmeal according to this.”

Anger rushed over her, “Is that really your takeaway from all this? That dad was right to do...to do everything he did to me?!”

“No- yes? I don’t know,” he snapped. “This is a lot to take in, okay?”

“How do you think I felt?!” She retorted, curling her hands together to keep them from shaking. “You weren’t even supposed to know.”

He flipped to the next page, his fingers that pinched the pages beginning to shake. “Fuck Vanya...he made an ane- anecho- he made a fucking dungeon for you. This is...this is where you were way back when we were kids, when we thought you were sick.”

Her anger disappeared, replaced by the familiar feeling of terror and claustrophobia that haunted her at the thought of the dark room under the house. She nodded wordlessly, biting her lip nervously.

Diego continued, voice trembling as he read. “A month...he took a month to come up with a rumor...Vanya, you got rumored. He had Allison rumor you.”

“He  _ made  _ Allison rumor me,” she corrected gently. “We were kids, she didn’t know what she was doing. All we really knew was to do what dad said, he probably told her it was to help me get better. Don’t blame her.”

“We need to let her know! She needs to counter-rumor you,” Diego insisted. “He made you think you were just-”

“Don’t say it,” she practically snarled. She never wanted to hear it again, especially not from one of her sibling’s mouths. “I mean, do we need to let her know? I know I’m not ordinary, I mean, I have to. I have proof that I have powers, I  _ used  _ them.”

“Vanya, you’ve been rumored for years now,” he pressed. “Who knows messed up your psyche is by now, he made it so you think you’re  _ just  _ ordinary. Just!”

“I told you not to say it,” she snapped, feeling her nails sink into the flesh of her palms. “But I know, I know I’m not just ordinary! I have to, the rumor must be broken and I can’t...I can’t be rumored again! What if it just makes things worse?! What if she doesn’t actually undo the rumor or-”

“Vanya!” Diego’s voice snapped her out of her ramblings. “Look, I get it, after reading all of- of that, you’re nervous about the whole rumoring thing. I’ll act as a witness-”

“That’s  _ so  _ reassuring.”

“-Piss off and listen,” his voice left no room to argue. “We don’t have to do the whole un-rumoring thing right away, okay? Just...we need to talk about this rationally. Not to mention the pills which-”

He stopped suddenly and she shrunk in on herself as he put together yet another puzzle piece.

“You’re off your pills, the pills meant to suppress your powers. The powers you just used,” he deadpanned before his voice lit up in anger. “Vanya, what the hell are you doing?! Please tell me you didn’t go cold turkey.”

Vanya opened her mouth to respond before closing it, opting to continue chewing her lip raw.

“You’re an idiot,” he hissed. “Do you know how dangerous that is?! God, no wonder you’ve been looking like pure shit for the past few days!”

“Excuse me?!”

“You don’t think we’ve noticed? You’ve got bags under your eyes and you’ve been shaking like a leaf, not to mention your greasy hair.” He rattled on, the anger in his voice palpable. “You’ve always been shit at taking care of yourself, I can’t believe you went cold turkey! Do you know what that could do to your immune system?!”

He wasn’t far off the mark, Vanya realized, though she would never admit it aloud. Perhaps after a few nights of scanning the journal and scribbling away on her own, she had neglected to actually fall asleep. She touched her hair and grimaced ever so slightly at the feeling of it.

She looked up at him. “I- How do you know? About going cold turkey?”

“Klaus tried to go cold turkey, not by choice. I let him crash with me for a bit and he was a fucking mess,” Diego scoffed. “Disappeared in the morning along with some of my things, no doubt to sell ‘em off.”

“Oh,” she mumbled lamely. “I just...I did research, Diego, those pills were- are just some weird combo of sedatives and mood suppressants. He had me on those when I was four! You can’t...you have to understand why.”

“I-I d-do und-understa-stand!” He stammered, taking a moment to calm himself before continuing. “I just...y-you should we-weaned yourself off of th-them. Bit by bit, not so suddenly.”

“It’s too late for that, I’m not touching those pills again.”

“I figured.”

Vanya leaned back, watching as he stared at her for a moment before returning his attention to the journal. He flipped through, bouncing from page to page, expression twisting in ways Vanya couldn’t describe. 

He set it down on the coffee table after a while of scanning the pages, leaning forward and pinching the bridge of his nose. Vanya grimaced, reaching out and taking the journal back into her own hands, setting it down on her lap.

“Do you want water or tea or anything?” She asked softly, leaning back into her chair when he shook his head.

“You...you have powers,” he mumbled after a couple beats of silence. “Dangerous powers that you can’t control-”

“I’m learning to control them,” she promised. “I-I’ve been training daily, I just- today wasn’t the normal, I just...I just got overwhelmed.”

“Overwhelmed? What...what happened?” Diego looked up at her, his gaze worried. “Your door was open. What happened?”

Vanya stiffened, instinctively pulling her legs onto the chair and tucking them to her chest, the book nested between her thighs and her stomach. She shook her head, worried the moment she tried to brush away his concerns she would burst into tears, confirming his theory something terrible had happened.

Well, something terrible  _ had  _ happened. 

She shook her head, trying to push away the encounter from her mind, trying to push away the memories of  _ his  _ hands on  _ her skin _ , her  _ exposed skin as he washed away blood _ -

“Vanya!” Diego’s voice snapped her from her spiral and he seemed to flinch away from her gaze. “Your eyes…”

Her breath hitched in worry, fingers instinctively going to her face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I just- I-I can’t and-”

“Shit, please don’t panic again,” he groaned as he moved to her side. “Don’t throw me against another wall. Can you do that for me?”

“...Yeah,” she whimpered.

“What happened? Did...did someone break in?”

The light in her lamp exploded at his words and Diego reeled back, eyes wide. “Vanya, get yourself under control!”

“I’m trying! I’m trying!” She cried, squeezing her eyes shut. “J-Just give some space  _ please- _ ”

There was a knock at the door and Vanya could feel hot tears flowing down her cheeks.  _ He was back, he was back, and he was going to do something terrible and she was too stupid- too scared to stop him- _

“Vanya! Vanya, it’s me, it’s Allison! Is Diego there? Are you there?!”

Allison. It was really Allison.

“Oh thank God,” Diego breathed as he ditched her and opened the door. “Calm her down, I’ll explain later.”

Allison opened her mouth to question him before her gaze drifted to Vanya curled up in her chair, staring back at her with a mix of fear and relief in her eyes.

“Vanya…” She whispered, pushing past Diego and hurrying to her sister’s side. “Did Diego say something to you? Was there a break-in?! Neither of you were answering my texts, I was worried sick.”

Vanya furrowed her brow, patting her pockets until she pulled out her phone, feeling a bit sheepish at the bombardment of texts and missed calls.

_ Van, are you okay?? It’s been half an hour _

_ Van you haven’t answered _

_ I can’t come over, I’m sending Diego _

_ Diego isn’t answering his phone either??? Please answer!! _

_ Vanya you’re scaring me _

_ I’m coming over _

A part of Vanya was touched her sister had been worried so much, the other half was rather irritated at once again being treated like she was defenseless. It was an issue in both timelines, she realized, Allison overstepping her boundaries and almost treating Vanya as a replacement for Claire.

Allison reached out, carefully moving a stray hair from Vanya’s head and gasped. “Vanya, you’re burning up! How long have you had a fever?”

Diego shook his head, anger in his eyes at how poorly she had been taking care of herself.

She was...sick? Vanya shook her head, unsure what to say before her sister’s gaze flicked to the object in her lap.

“What’s this…?” Allison reached forward as Vanya’s legs loosened, the smaller woman feeling her blood run cold as took the journal from Vanya’s lap. “This is...this is dad’s journal.”

“Yeah, dad’s been keeping secrets.” Diego grunted, watching as Allison took his spot on her couch. “Little Number Seven grew a backbone and actually took it.”

Vanya narrowed her eyes at the name, glaring at her brother before meeting Allison’s gaze.

Blunt was probably the best route, especially with Diego around. “I have powers. Apparently I’ve always had them but dad thought I was too dangerous to keep them.”

Allison paused and Vanya could tell she wasn’t convinced, so she pointed to the journal, an action that wordlessly said:  _ Proof _ .

Allison opened up the journal, touching the front page as if to convince herself it was real before flipping through. Much like Diego, she lingered on her own page before flipping through to Vanya’s section, her eyes scanning the page.

After a period of silence, she looked like she was going to be sick.

“Oh my God...dad...I-I never put together the pieces until now-” She paled as she realized what she said. “Vanya, I promise I had no clue what was going on, I-I swear that I would never- I was a kid and-”

Vanya raised her hand, silencing her sister’s excuses but didn’t smile. “It’s okay, you were just a kid. We were what? Four? We didn’t know any better,  _ you  _ didn’t know any better.”

“Powers...I-I…” Allison trailed off. “I’m sorry, I can barely comprehend it, I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling.”

Vanya pressed her lips into a line.

“Well she’s probably feeling like shit,” Diego snapped. “You know her pills? She quit cold turkey. That’s probably why she has a fever.”

She winced as Allison turned to her, eyes wide with concern. “You quit?! Vanya, you’ve been on those pills since you were four! Remember when Klaus tried to go cold turkey when we were kids?!”

Vanya furrowed her brows. She didn’t. It probably happened when she had been sent to a boarding school during their teens. She had missed a lot, hadn’t she? Klaus going sober, Allison’s budding acting career, Ben’s death.

_ How would you know, Vanya? You weren’t even on the mission. _

Vanya curled up tighter on herself and Allison at least sounded guilty at bringing it up.

“Right, you weren’t- sorry.” Allison moved on quickly, ever the smooth-talker. “So, how come Diego knows? I just...I didn’t really think you would share something this big with  _ him  _ of all people.”

There was a hint of betrayal in her voice that made Vanya want to roll her eyes. It hadn’t exactly been her choice for any of them to find out.

“I walked in and she was freaking out, her eyes were all glowy,” Diego grunted. “ _ And she won’t goddamn tell me what happened _ .”

“Glowing eyes? That’s not in the journal,” Allison noted and Vanya simply shrugged in response. “Was it the guys from the break in? Were they here?”

Vanya instinctively curled in on herself once more, desperately wishing she could disappear under their stares. She shook her head, hands resting on her knees and nails sinking into the skin of them, an act that caused Allison to frown.

“I don’t...I don’t want to talk about it,” she mumbled and winced when Diego scoffed at her.

“Are you serious?!” He barked, glaring at her. “This isn’t about you, believe it or not! If those people somehow found out where you lived, then they could find the others!”

Part of her wanted to snap back at him to piss off, the other half couldn’t help but tremble.  _ He  _ knew where she lived and he’d gotten in once (to leave her flowers of all things, just the memory made her shutter), he could easily come back when she was gone or worse,  _ asleep _ .

She couldn’t stay here. Her own apartment wasn’t safe anymore and just the thought made her heart ache.

“Someone...someone did come,” she began carefully. “It wasn’t the intruders, I think, but they just scared me, they didn’t hurt me, I promise.”

“They scared you enough to have a breakdown on the floor,” Diego grumbled. “You can’t stay here even with one of us playing babysitter.”

Vanya rubbed her temples, “I know, I know.”

“We should get you to Mom anyways, Pogo managed to get her back online,” Allison added. “Maybe staying at the house is for the best anyways, Luther has been working hard on upgrading the security. Plus we can talk with the others about your powers-”

“ _ No _ !” Vanya cried, eyes growing wide with fear. “No, you can’t tell them Allison, none of them can know! None of you were supposed to know! Not yet!”

“Not yet?” Allison looked at her quizzically.

“Not until I can control them,” she insisted, desperately trying to calm herself. “Please you guys, I-I can’t- this is my choice, my power, it should be up to me if any of them get to know.”

“Because you’ve always been so considerate of other people’s  _ private lives _ ,” Diego sneered. “You’re being an idiot about this, the others should know.”

“Diego, be nice,” Allison hissed before turning back to Vanya. “He’s right, the others should know. Vanya, this is big! You have powers and dad’s been keeping them a secret, I can’t imagine what other secrets he might have been keeping.”

Vanya narrowed her eyes. Of course, a bitter part of her snarled, she was  _ just  _ Vanya after all, there had to be more secrets than her, secrets about them. They couldn’t bare to share the spotlight for a moment.

“Are you really going to do this, Allison? Take away my choice  _ again _ ?” Part of her immediately felt a wave of guilt at her words, the other couldn’t help but smirk in satisfaction as Allison tensed. “Please you two, I-I can’t make you do anything but I just..I don’t want them to know.”

“You can’t make me do shit,” Diego grunted but sighed. “But...you really don’t want them to know?”

She nodded.

He gave her a rather irritated look, “Fine. I’m not a snitch but I won’t go keeping your secret to the grave, got it? I don’t know why you’re acting so weird and paranoid about this but  _ fine _ .” 

She sighed in relief, offering him a grateful smile and then turned her attention to Allison, who looked conflicted. Vanya understood in some ways but couldn’t help be more frustrated, couldn’t her sister just do this for her?

Allison bit her lip, “...Fine but we’re not done talking about this, okay? You go get some clothes packed, we should get you back to the mansion and more importantly, to Mom.”

Vanya still wasn’t convinced she was sick, though she hadn’t realized she hadn’t showered in days until Diego had pointed it out. Perhaps her family had a point.

“Right, right, just give me a few minutes.” Vanya mumbled, getting to her feet and waved off Allison’s offer to help. She didn’t have much to pack and if she really did need something else, she could just cab back anytime.

It didn’t take her too long to pack her things into a duffel bag, hiding her own personal journal at the bottom under her clothes. She moved to her bathroom, grabbing her toiletries and packing them away.

She went out to the main room of her apartment, giving her siblings a small nod to show she was ready to go. Diego took to leading them outside of her apartment, impatiently tapping his foot as she locked her apartment behind her before they continued down the stairs.

It was odd how they walked in silence yet each of them knew there was so much more that could be said. Vanya herself couldn’t help but feel uncertainty creep in, wondering which of them would be the first to cave and tell someone else. 

The inevitably of betrayal weighed her down as they made their way to the car, Vanya sliding in the back with her duffle bag while Diego took the wheel and Allison sat in the passenger's seat. She turned around to face Vanya, expression concerned.

“You look exhausted,” she said softly. “Why don’t you close your eyes for the car ride?”

Vanya wanted to snarl at Allison, to bark at her to quit infantilizing her. But she didn’t, shoving her bitterness further down and instead opted to nod, leaning against the car window and closing her eyes. She was tired, it wouldn’t hurt to try and get a few extra minutes of sleep before having to step into her childhood house of horrors.

It wasn’t like she had much of a choice, none of her siblings were probably in any situation to support her, the mansion was her best option. It was cold and empty and haunted with dark memories, but it was for the best.

She closed her eyes and it only took seconds before she succumbed to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not happy with this but im tired and i rlly wanted to get the story moving lol so there we go! allison & diego know about the powers and vanya's gonna chill at the mansion for a bit

**Author's Note:**

> im a bit rusty on writing so criticism is always welcome!


End file.
